Hey does anyone know any good one liner jokes?!


Question: Did you hear the one about the Titanic?


Answers: Did you hear the one about the Titanic?

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I once had a deaf dog that wouldn't come when I called him

yeah,
what color is my blue car?
no seriously here's one,
Kids were playing baseball, then one of them accidentally hit the ball to hard leading it my neighbor window and breaking it.
They got another ball, came to my house and ask for the autograph then they threw it to the neighbor broken window, she got it she came to my house and said who threw the ball i said it wasn't me and she showed my name written in it.
Ok this joke is lame and not funny and it's based on someone else joke.

Here are some of my favorites:

What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!

Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.

How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.

If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?

If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?

your so fat,you jump in the air an get stuck,so fat,u don't need but 1more no. to have your own zip code,fat is wear yellow an everyone hollers taxi at u,wears red,an everyone follows u to the fire,you the reason animals eat there own.u the reason for Iran war,tie a bone around your neck so the dog will play w/u

What is the procedure called when a woman has a sex-change operation?



An "Addadictomy"

you'r fat and ugly and i'm drunk,tomorrow i'll be sober.

No Emma, what was funny about the Titanic. LOL

What do you get when two nuns & a hooker are playing football?

Two tight ends & one wide receiver

Are we in port yet sir?
No, we are still up to our knees in wine.

How many Buddhists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, as all conditioned phenomena constantly change.

Someone stole a trifle,
He is now remanded in custard.

1. Take my wife... please.
2. Sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up.
3. I'm like a roach on the porch in the winter-time. I'm just too cool to move.
4. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.
5. It’s hard to make a come-back when you haven’t been anywhere.
6. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the bathroom.
7. I'm gonna make like a camel with a long way to go... put a hump in my back and walk real slow.
8. Get outta that bed and make some bread so you can get ahead... 'cause with no money you got no honey... and brother, I ain't bein' funny.
9. Outside of that Mrs. Kennedy... how'd you like Dallas?

Whats black, plastic and sails around the ocean
Binbag the sailer :)



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