Can you tell me a good joke?!


Question: Ten points for the one that gets me rolling on the floor with laughter!


Answers: Ten points for the one that gets me rolling on the floor with laughter!

A 60-year-old couple are celebrating their 40th wedding annivesary.During the celebrations a fairy appears and
says that,since they have been such a loving couple,she'll give them each 1 wish.The wife wishes to travel the world.The fairy waves her wand and poof!She has a handful of tickets.Next,it's the husband's turn.He pauses for a moment,then says,"I'd like to have a woman 30years younger than me."So the fairy picks up her wand and poof!He's 90


A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl" The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!" "Oh ,then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" – the policeman answers. "But I am not an American!" – says the man. "Oh, what are you then? " The man says: - "I am a Saudi !" The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog.

I`ve been up to Space 3 times.
Well you are allowed to take one packet of sweets so I chose Tic-Tacs (I can make them last the journey). Half way through the journey, David (Co-pilot) wanted the plastic box for a test tube. Well, for the good of the mission I let him have it. He opened it and the sweets went everywhere. I grabbed what I could but I think he got the most.

Second time, I took Fruit Pastills. I opened it and the first one was a black one (sometimes you`re just lucky) although the second one was green and I don`t like them. Anyway, David says that the launch had sheered the buttons of the control panel and he needed the sweets for that. For the good of the mission....

Third time, I took a Curly-Wurly (a long patterned chocolate bar). After the launch David comes round again, saying that the ladder in the mice box broke....

Hold on, I`ve just thought. In space, there`s no gravity. What does a mouse want with a ladder?

So this pirate walks into a bar. He is no ordinary pirate though, for he has the helm of a ship swinging from the fly of his trousers. Everybody in the bar notices and keeps asking the pirate "what is the steering wheel from a ship doing hanging out of your fly?" He finally gets fed up and replies "AAARGH, it's driving me nuts!!!"



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