What is the FUNNIEST Joke You Have Ever Hear?!
Question: Please Tell Me!
10 Points to best answer.
Come on people. make me laugh!
What do you got?
Answers: Please Tell Me!
10 Points to best answer.
Come on people. make me laugh!
What do you got?
1)A man checked into a hotel in Australia. There was a computer in his
room,so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally
typed the wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent
the e-mail.
Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from
her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting
messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed
into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen
which read:
To : My Loving Wife
Subject : I've Arrived
Date: May 27 2006
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now,
and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived
and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your
arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is
as uneventful as mine was.
P.s It is damn hot down here !!
2)A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl" The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!" "Oh ,then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" – the policeman answers. "But I am not an American!" – says the man. "Oh, what are you then? " The man says: - "I am a Saudi !" The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog.
YOUR MOM!!!
okay, this is one I remember off the top of my head. A man walks into a bar and says All lawyers are a$$holes. A guy at the end of the bar says Hey, I resent that. The first guy says Why, are you a lawyer? Second guy says NO, I'm an a$$hole.
Little Johnny
When little Johnny went to school for the first day, his father warned the teacher that he had a gambling problem, and asked her to make sure he didn't gamble with the other children. So she did as he asked and at the end of the day Johnny's father called the teacher to make sure he wasn't gambling with the other children. The teacher told him she had fixed his gambling problem. Confused, the father asked how she did this. She replied simply that she bet Johnny $10 that she didn't have any freckles on her ***. The father replies, ****, he bet me $50 that he would see the teacher's *** by the end of the first day.
a bunny and a bear were in the forest when a genie popped out of a bottle. he granted them each 3 wishes. the bear said i wish all the bears in this forest were female. the bunny gets a crash helmet.thge bear wants all the bears in the neghboring forest to be female.the bunny wants a motercycle.for his last one, the bears wants ALL the bears in the world to be female.the bunny says i want the bear to be GAY. then he rides off quickly.
hope u guys/gals laughed
a fireman says i find victims hot and leave em wet. i dont know if thats a joke..but i have another one for you...its kinda gross tho...
so a vampire goes into a cafe and asks for boiling hot water. and the waitress asks "dont vampires drink blood?"
and the vampire responds, "yea, i brought a tampon with me for tea."
gross right?
srry cant think of any funny ones right now
ralph is going to this first day of kindergarten (not the same as the one above.) The first assignment that the teacher gives them is to learn the first 3 letters of the alphabet. Ralph goes home and asks his big sister. whats the first letter of the alphabet? she says, Shut up you asshole!!
Ralph goes to his dad who is watching the football game.
"dad whats the second letter of he alphabet?" "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!" his dad replies.
Then ralph goes to his brother who is flushing batman down the toilet. "whats the thrid letter of the alphabet?" he asks. "down the toilet down the toilet." says his brother.
The next day at school raph teacher asks ralph if he will tell the the class the first three letters of the a;phabet. "Shut up ou asshole!" he says. Ra;phs teacher says, do yo want to go to the prinicipal young man? ralph confused says 'YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!" the techer sends ralph to the principl who says" ralph, where do you think this behavior is going to take you in your life?" "down the toilet down the toilet."
HAHAHA
ok so a bum gets on a city bus and he's totally wasted, lipstick on his face, vodka bottle hanging out of pocket, teh whole nine yards. he sits next to a preist, pulls out a newspaper and begins to read. after a moment he turns to teh priest and asks "father, what causes arthritis?" the priest replies rudely "arthritis is caused by cheap women, drinking, drugs, permiscuious sex and many other sins in the eyes of the lord" and the priest turns away. after five minutes the preist turns back feeling awful about how rude he was so he says to teh bum "im sorry i came on so strongly about arthritis, how long have you had it?" The bum replies, "oh i dont have arthritis, i jsut read in the paper that the Pope does."