Tell me your funniest joke...?!


Question: give me something that will make me laugh really hard thanx!


Answers: give me something that will make me laugh really hard thanx!

Nuns misbehaving ...



The nuns at the local convent had their daily announcement session.

Mother superior walked out in front of the 100 nuns with a very serious
frown on her face. She began to speak.....

Mother Superior: "A sinful deed was committed here, yesterday."

99 nuns: "Oh, no!"
1 nun: "Hee, Hee, Hee!"

Mother Superior: "Today I found a pair of men's underwear."

99 nuns: "Oh, no!"
1 nun: "Hee, Hee, Hee!"

Mother Superior: "And I also found a condom."

99 nuns: "Oh, no!"
1 nun: "Hee, Hee, Hee!"

Mother Superior: "And it has been used."

99 nuns: "Oh, no!"
1 nun: "Hee, Hee, Hee!"

Mother Superior: "And there is a hole in it!"

1 nun: "Oh no!"
99 nuns: "Hee, Hee, Hee!!!"

what did one lesbian vampire say to another?

see you next month

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been
together for
over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one thing
bothering me...it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective
sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and
generally was
bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I
always got
more than a pleasant view.

One day "little sister" called and asked me to come over to check the
wedding
invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me
that she
had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told
me that
she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and
committed my
life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock and couldn't say a
word. She
said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last
wild fling,
just come up."

I was stunned and frozen in shock, as I watched her go up the stairs.
I stood
here for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the
front door,
I opened the door, and headed straight toward my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all
clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my future father in-law hugged me and said,
"We are
very happy that you have passed our little test.... we couldn't ask
for a
better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is . . . Always keep your condoms in
your car.

A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?”

She calls on little Johnny. He replies, ”None, they all fly away with the first gun shot”

The teacher replies “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”

Then Little Johnny says “I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?”

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, “Well I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone”

To which Little Johnny replied, “The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.”

I got a pretty funny one.

Have you heard about that new really cool cookbook? You can only buy it in pet stores. It's called "101 Ways to Wok Your Dog". LOL

It's not the BEST joke, but it always makes people laugh. I got it from www.TxtVox.com. I signed up for a free Joke of the Day that comes right to my cell phone.

Hope this will make you laugh.

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."

His wife looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.

When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts."

"That's it!" She blows her top, "You b*stard! You waltz in here, flop your fat *ss down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"

The husband sighed. "Oh SHlT, it's started."

Or maybe this?

Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions.

The first guy says " I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know... Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist."

The second guy says "I'm a D.I.N.K, you know... Double Income, No Kids."

The third guy says, " I'm a R.U.B, you know... Rich, Urban, Biker."

They turn to the woman and ask her, " What are you? "

She replies: " I'm a WIFE, you know...
Wash, Iron, Fcuk, Etc."



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