I woke up to find my sense of humor dead this morning, will you please try to CP!
Question: ...although I am afraid it may be too late. It's all blue and cold.
Answers: ...although I am afraid it may be too late. It's all blue and cold.
Crappy Pun Regurgitation complete...
i;m sorry sir, the patient didn't make it.we tried our best, i guess it was just his time
a horse walks into a bar...
The bartender says "why the long face"
*crickets*
i've got a great saying..."Happiness is like when u wet urself. evrbody can c it, but only u can feel its warmth." lol :)
based on this joke i'd say its been dead a long time, maybe you didn't notice it had died weeks or even years ago.
I would just have a burial service and learn to live without a sense of humor. humorless people can live long and OK lives once they accept that they are the joke.
Holy stars-- I woke up with the same problem. Mine is improving somewhat. I got to pick out a gift for Christmas. My husband was extra nice also. Oh, wait I dont have a joke. How about this--go to a happy place. Jump up and down wherever you are, like a little kid, once you realize how silly you look, you might just laugh. Call your best friend and vent , I bet they will cheer you up. I have this great friend, Carrie, and whenever I have a **** day, I call her and she tells me stories and I laugh and laugh.
if i had two coins in my hand and you had three coins in your hand and you took the two coins off me what would you have?
a fat lip
A doctor tells a patient they are going to die.
Patient: what?!?!?!? How long do I have?
Doc: 10
Patient: 10 What!?!?!?!? days? Months? Years?
Doc: 9...
Sorry to hear that...
What's Snoop Dogg's favorite weather?
Drizzle!
Did you hear about the guy who died of Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close his casket.
Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill every day at 5 AM?
To make sure she's the First Lady...
I divorced my joke.
Q: What's the difference between a pregnant lady and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb
Q: Why are those tiny little Christmas lights named "Italian Lights"?
A: Because they are not too bright
A bear walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long paws?"
A man walks into a bar and says: "Ouch!"
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week long, thank you.
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
*crickets*
I wrote an amusing poem awhiles back that you might enjoy:
Out come the tools from the Spanish Inquisition
Sit back, relax, open, assume the position
I slither down the chair hoping for a distraction
But they are wise and planned for this action
Door is shut and sealed for an atomic explosion
This won't hurt as he aims a 3 foot shot in motion
I pull the bib over my face and pray for salvation
But it is futile, I am destined for this invasion
Ears shudder from the sound of a drilling repetition
I clench the chair's arms and hope for a short duration
He smiles and says it's a minor modification
I have learned he is full of constipation
There there, that wasn't so bad is his exclamation
For who I ask in retalliation
See you next week at our usual visitation
As I leave, I let out the air in his means of transportation
I dunno. Ir's clearly been ailing for quite some time. Best to let it go, remember the good times and adopt another from the pound.
It's in a better place. It's sad to see them hang on in pain, long after they've stopped being funny--like watching Carrot Top in concert.
Rectum hell, like ta killed 'em!
Will my silliness cause you to crack a smile ....?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
If not my silly questions, perhaps the silly answers will make you smile .... :)
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
how do you know when a redneck gets married?
there is spit on both sides of the truck!!!
**I don't care who you are, that right there was pretty damn funny**
After my husband and I had a huge argument, we ended up not talking to each other for days.
Finally, on the third day, he asked where one of his shirts was.
"Oh," I said, "So now you're speaking to me."
He looked confused. "What are you talking about?"
"Haven't you noticed I haven't spoken to you for three days?" I challenged.
"No," he said, "I just thought we were getting along."