Friday Funnys !!!!!!!?!


Question: tell us a joke !!!


Answers: tell us a joke !!!

The Top 10 Things NOT to say to a Police Officer

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"


25 Ways to Annoy Your Roommate During Christmas

1. Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring
one into the room, scream bloody murder and trash on the floor.

2. Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to get off.

3. Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny you're wearing it.

4. Sit in a corner in the fetal position rocking back and forth chanting,
"Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to town..."

5. Hang mistle-toe in the doorway. When your roommate enters or leaves the
room, plant a wet one on his/her lips.

6. Hang a stocking with your roommates name on it. Collect coal and sharp
objects in it. If s/he asks, say "you've been very naughty this year."

7. Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you
never get to join in on the reindeer games.

8. Make conversation out of Christmas Carols. (I.E. "You know, I saw mommy
kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistle-toe last night.")

9. Wrap yourself in Christmas lights and roll around in the snow.

10. Sing: "All I want for Christmas is my roommate's two front teeth..."

11. Give your roommate the gifts from the twelve days of Christmas song.

12. Build a snowperson with your roommate and place a hat on its head. When it
doesn't come to life, cry hysterically "it didn't work!"

13. Whip your roommate screaming "now Dasher, now Dancer, now Donner, and
Blitzen, etc."

14. Tear down all your roommate's Christmas decorations yelling "Bah Humbug!"

15. Wake up every morning screaming "Ghost of Christmas Future, please have
mercy on my soul!"

16. Tell your roommate you're moving out. Santa's buying you a house on 34th
Street.

17. Pin a poinsettia to your lapel.

18. Make anatomically correct gingerbread people and eat the best parts first.

19. Put on a fake white beard and insist that all your roommate's friends "give
it a yank."

20. Ring jingle bells maniacally saying "every time a bell rings an angel gets
his wings."

21. Stand in front of the mirror reciting "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" over
and over in your underwear.

22. Smoke mistle-toe. Do what comes naturally.

23. Watch your roommate when s/he is sleeping. When s/he wakes up sing, "he sees
you when you're sleeping..."

24. Steal a life size nativity scene and display it in your room. When your
roommate asks, tell him/her "I had to let them stay here, there's no room at the
inn."

25. When your roommate goes to the bathroom, rearrange his/her possessions. Tell
him/her that Santa's elves must have done it.

just heard this today:

What do you call a musician who just broke up with his girlfriend?

Homeless.

YOU look FAmily

Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?

A. They already have boyfriends.

try this

http://try.starware.com/landing/jokes/jo...

A young girl was walking down the street one night when she heard a voice say, "Hello, pretty girl!" She looked around and all she saw was a little green frog so she kept on walking only to hear the frog again say, "Hello beautiful, I'm not a frog, I'm really a handsome prince who's been cast under a spell by an evil witch but you can break the spell if you take me home and let me sleep in your bed." She figured, what could she lose so she took him home and let him sleep in her bed. The next morning, lo and behold, a handsome prince was in her bed!

And do you know that, to this day, her parents don't believe that story about the frog!

I don't have one, but CiCi's was the best in my opinion. :)

A man sitting at the bar drinking hears a voice~~`
~~"You are a good looking guy"
He looks around and there is no one around.
A few minutes later he hears.~~~~
~~~~" You have a sparkling personality"
Again~~ no one is around~~
Then~~ again a few minutes later he hears~~
~~" What a witty and charming guy you are"~~~
He tells the bartender he has been hearing voices and asks where it is coming from~~
The bartender says~~
" Oh~~it's the peanuts~~they're complimentary"

One day, the son of the earthworm family felt bored, so he cut himself into 2 to play badminton with himself. the mother of the earthworm family felt that, that was a good ideas, so she cut herself into 4 to play poker card with herself. Awhile later, the father of the earthworm family cuts himself into 10 over pieces. the earthworm mother then look at the breatheless earthworm father with tear and ask: "y r u so silly?". the breatheless earthworm father replied:" i just wanna play soccer with myself".



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