Help please ! funny jokes !?!
Question: please make me smile - i'm really upset because rhydian didn't win
10 points to the person hu makes me smile the most.
Answers: please make me smile - i'm really upset because rhydian didn't win
10 points to the person hu makes me smile the most.
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...... "
leon is an ugly prick and rydian is the best!!!
hope that helped
A copper in Bradford stops a Muslim leading a cow down the street.
He asks "What are you doing with a cow in the middle of town?"
"I'm taking it home to keep it in my house."
"What about all the flies and sh1t?"
"It will just have to get used to them."
If you went camping with someone, and you woke up the next morning covered in pudding with a condom coming out of your butt would you tell anyone???
No???
Two neighbours are arguing."And keep your animal out of my conservatory!"says one."it's full of fleas!" The other neighbour turns to her dog and says,"Did you hear that,Rover?"Keep out of next-door's conservatory!It's full of fleas".
There Honey I hope that put a smile on your face.xxxx
One day an older man was admiring his body when he noticed he was tan all over x-cept his privates. So he goes to the beach covers his entire body with sand x-cept his privates.
Two old ladied walk by and one exclaims, "My Lord, there is no justice in this world anymore!" Her friend replied, "What do you mean?" "Well say's the first lady when I was 20 I was curious, when I was 30 I got it when I was 40 I was satisfied, by 50 I prayed for it and at 60 I paid for it and by 70 I forgot all about it. Now I'm 80yrs old the damn things are growin wild and I'm too old to squat!"
there was this kid in kidergarden and it was winter and he need to get his boots on and it was resses. the teacher came over to help she tryed to put the boots on they were so hard to put on. then the kid said "teacher there on the wrong foot!!" the teacher had to pull them off and it was 10 times harder to take 'em off! then she put them on the right foot. then the kid says "there not my boots" so she takes them off agian! "there my brother's but my mom told me to wear them!" so she puts them back on. "so bobby wear are your mittens?" "in my boots!" so she take them off and get the mittens and put the boots back on! then the bell rand resses was over! so she had to take the boots off. that night she quit being a teacher and moved to hawii so there would be no winter!!
Pull ur mouth and say:
I live on a pirate ship full of hockey pucks and apples with crafts
Ok, here it is:
Teacher says: Kids, it's Friday, time for a pop quiz. If anyone gets it right, they can go home. What is the volume of water in a 12 inch by 12 cm bowl?
Of course, no one knows. So smart Johnny prepares for the following week. He takes two large marbles and paints them black. Takes them to school the following Friday.
Teacher says: Class, time for the pop quiz. Right then and there Johnny inconspicuouslly rolls the two out toward the teacher.
Teacher shouts: Ok, who's the comedian with the two black balls. Johnny replies: Martin Lawrence, see you Monday.
A group of people die in an horrific coach crash
As many have been facially disfigured, as they line up at the purly gates, God agrees they all deserve one wish
The people file in, all wishing for their looks to be back the way they were before crash.
The last man in the line cannot stop laughing, and as it gets to his turn, he finally composes himself and says to God
"Make them all ugly again"