What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?!
Question: Their balls are just for decoration.
Answers: Their balls are just for decoration.
Both can hurt children
Muhahahahahahahaha ........................................... cough ............................. Hairball
lol..
Ha ha, very good old chap.
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha i like it have a star
nice one i haven't heard that one before
Naughty! Lol!
Old one, but thanks for remembering it!
thats a new one!
Hee hee - I needed a laugh so thanks!
not bad for a christmas joke,
what about these ones??
Christmas Parrot
One day a man walked into a bar and sat down next to a guy with a parrot on his shoulder.
The bartender said, "Cute parrot, does he talk?"
The guy with the parrot says, "He does more than just talk, watch." The guy lit a match and placed it under the parrots left foot. Then the parrot started singing "Jingle Bells", it was a Christmas Parrot.
The guy then placed the match under the right foot and the parrot then started to sing "The 12 days of Christmas."
The bartender said, "That's incredible". He then asked, "What does he say when you place them between his feet?"
The guy said, "You know I never tried that, let's see."
When the match was placed between the feet of the parrot the parrot began to sing a familiar tune... "Chesnuts roasting on an open fire."
A Drunk's Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
There were bottle of booze left around by some louse.
When through the North window there came loud a yell
I sprang to my feet to see what the hell...
And what to my bloodshot eyes should I see,
But eight drunken reindeer caught up in a tree.
And there in the branches, was a man with a sleigh.
I knew it was Santa, quite tiddley and gay.
Staggering nearer those eight reindeer came,
While he belched and hiccoughed and called them by name:
"On Whiskey! On Vodka! we ain't got all night,
You too, Gin and Brandy, now all do it right!
Clamber up on the roof, and get off this wall,
Get going you rummies, we've still got a long haul!"
So up on the roof went the reindeer and sleigh,
But a tree branch hit Santa before he could sway.
And then to my ears like the roll of a barrel,
A hell of a noise that was no Christmas carol.
So I pulled in my head and I cocked a sharp ear,
Down the chimney he plunged, landing smack on his rear.
He was both plump and chubby, and tried to stand right,
But he didn't fool me, he was high as a kite.
He spoke not a word but went straight to work
And missed half the stockings, the drunken old jerk.
Then putting his thumb to the end of his nose,
He fluttered his fingers as he quoted prose.
As he sprung for his sleigh at so hasty a pace,
He tripped on a shingle and he slid on his face.
But I heard him call back as he passed out of sight,
"Merry Christmas, you lushes, now really get tight!"
hehehehehee!!!!
WOW! Hilarious and so damn true! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Star for you!!!
Nice one ,,,,
lol
Tacky but funny! 100!
lol
Ha ha ha.!!!
Cheers.!!!