This is funny, I don't care who you are!?!
Question: This is funny, I don't care who you are!
I have 4 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was
in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no,
I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she aske d if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my *** and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid lady...why else would I buy dog food??
Answers: This is funny, I don't care who you are!
I have 4 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was
in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no,
I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she aske d if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my *** and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid lady...why else would I buy dog food??
That was funny, i have some more stories if youd like
When i was little, maybe seven, my dad was outside doing yard work. He was busy working, and didnt want to pay attention to me. So, i found a big metal rake on the ground and started to play with it.
I would step on the metal teeth, and have the wooden handle lift in the air and then catch it. I did this over and over. "DAD!" i said trying to get his attention, "this is how they do it in cartoons" "stop it!" he replied, youre going to get hurt" I kept doing it, trying to get his attention. suddenly BOINK!
I didnt catch it and it smacked me in the face. I was rushed to the emergency room. On the way to the emergency room i told my dad "dad, please dont tell them how it did this!" because iw as so embarrassed.
My dad told the nurse how i hurt myself and she tried her hardest to hold in her laughter. She left the room and by the time the doctor came in, numerous hospital workers peeked their heads in for a good laugh.... Seven stitches and braces later...here i am
ANOTHER STORY---
I was in yellowstone on a family vacation when i was about 13 or 14. My mom surprised me with horseback riding in the mountians. It was my first time horseback riding so i was excited. I couldnt help but notice the SUPER cute cowboys that lead the line of horses. I had a fun time riding, then when it was time to get off the horse, the cowboy asked if i needed help. "no, i can do it!" i said trying to show off.
As i hopped off the horse, my shirt got caught on the saddle horn. So i was stuck, my feet on the ground and my shirt high above my head exposing everything to the cute cowboys and every body around me. The only way to get my shirt off the saddle horn, since it was pulled so tight, was to getup on the horse again and unhook it.
So the cowboy standing next to me and another friend TRIED to lift me to get my shirt off...the couldnt pick me up (i was a bigger girl) so i had to wait, (with a shirt above my head) while the went and looked for a stool....
I will never go horseback riding again
haha :) share the laughter and tell some more!
No, its really not
OMG this is great!!! I am going to have to remember this!!
rofl
funny
I thought it was funny! I love when people ask you dumb questions, I just wish that I could come up with a story like that on the spot!: )
ur great! I love it!
Oh my God that is freakin' hilarious!!!! I love it!!!!
this is the bomb funny!!!
Yeah. That was funny! That can be a new Bill Engvall joke.
That's funny. What did they lady have to say after that?
brovfuckino
You have an interesting mind, I couldn't think up something like that if I spent all week in it.
LMAO!!!
hahahah xD dumb lady
I don't think that was very funny. Wouldn't it have been easier to say that it's for your dog you jacka**?
oh, my...that was rude, but it was too funny. Hat's off to you, you little wise a $$
That was really FUNNY!!!!! do you do that kind of stuff lot? Imean seriouly you should go into stand up comedy!!! LOL i think i might put that into my AIM profile!!!! I wonder i that lady ever figured that out???
funny hahah