Does anyone know of any clean christmas jokes?!


Question: Silly but clean.

Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elf-abet!

Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.

Q: What kind of bird can write?
A: A PENguin.

Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
A: Because every buck is dear to him.

Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle.

Q: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
A: We'll have a boo Christmas without you

Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
A: Sandy Claws/Claus!

Q: If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
A: A subordinate claus.

Q: Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
A: Its true....Comet cleans sinks!

Q: What do you call people who fear Christmas?
A: Clause-traphobic.

Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.


Answers: Silly but clean.

Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elf-abet!

Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.

Q: What kind of bird can write?
A: A PENguin.

Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
A: Because every buck is dear to him.

Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle.

Q: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
A: We'll have a boo Christmas without you

Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
A: Sandy Claws/Claus!

Q: If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
A: A subordinate claus.

Q: Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
A: Its true....Comet cleans sinks!

Q: What do you call people who fear Christmas?
A: Clause-traphobic.

Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

They are not funny if they are clean.

No I'm sorry...its the time of year when nobody appreciates jokes about Joseph falling for the virgin line...or about how this is the only time of year when a fat old man in a red suit can come down the chimney and entice children with presents if they are good (or lumps of coal in their stockings if they are bad) with the parents giving him a plate of milk and cookies as a reward! Any other night of the year they would call the cops on the dirty old man sneaking into the house!

bah humbug!



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