What are some good riddles you know?!
Question: I need a good laugh...
Answers: I need a good laugh...
I have two jokes.
1. There was a girl, Maria and a boy, Nick and they were sitting in church together. The priest asked, "Who is our world's savor?" Nick stabs Maria in the back with his pencil and she screams, "JESUS CHRIST!!!" The priest says, "Very good Maria." Then the priest asks, "What did Mary say after she gave birth to Jesus?" Nick again stabs his pencil into Maria's back. She screams, "IF YOU STICK THAT THING INTO ME AGAIN, I WILL LITERALLY TAKE IT AND SNAP IT IN HALF!"
........the whole church goes silent......
2. A little girl asks her mom if she can take a shower with her. Her mom said, "Sure as long as you didn't look up or down." The girl looks up and goes, "Mommy what's that?" Her mom says, "Those are my headlights." Then the girl looks down and goes, "Mommy what's that? Her mom says, "Oh, that is my bush." Then she asks her dad if she can take a shower with him. He says, "Sure as long as you don't look down." The girl looks down and says, "Daddy what's that?" Her dad goes, "That's my snake." Then the next night the girl has a horrible nightmare and sneaks under the covers in her parents' room. Then she flips open the covers and screams, "MOMMY TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS! THERE IS A SNAKE IN YOUR BUSH!"
rofl! I luv those jokes. Sure gave me a laugh!
Happy Holidays!!!!
Love,
GigglyGirly^_^
You're so stupid that when you saw the sign "Wet Floor",
you took a piss!
No offense! haha
This one's quite lame:
Q:Nobody wants to have one of these but once they have it,they don't want to lose it.What is it?
A:An argument.
=.=|||
Good questions,No answers :
======================
1. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)
2. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought)
3. What is the speed of darkness? (absurd)
4. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)
5. Can you cry under water? (let me try)
6. Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sitaround all day? (I think they meant something else)
7. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)
8. Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)
9. Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes)
10. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stay and watch)
11. What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed)
12. What should one call a male ladybird? (Nocomments)
13. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help )
14. Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)
15. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it)
16. If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio,would you be able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)
17. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
18. Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice)
19. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice)
20. Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law)
21. If drink & drive is not allowed why do they have parking in Bars?
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"
And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on
her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabbit or a
soft and fuwwy bwack wabbit or maybe one like that cute
wittle bwown wabbit over there? She in turn puts her hands
on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice:
"I don't fink my python weally givths a thit.
what are two things you cannot have for breakfast? LUNCH AND DINNER.
heres a riddel
close your eyes and imadgen if your in the ocean and your shrounded by sharks how do u get out
*other info just cause you'll say this
you cant swim away in any direction you complitly traped
you have no boat and there all around you
there going to eat you