The best joke you have ever heard??!!?!
Question: A wife complains, "Our clock almost killed my mother today. It fell off the wall only seconds after she got up from the couch." The husband mumbles, "Damn clock always was slow."
Answers: A wife complains, "Our clock almost killed my mother today. It fell off the wall only seconds after she got up from the couch." The husband mumbles, "Damn clock always was slow."
what?
Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her yard?
~Well neither did she!
why did the chicken cross the road.....not
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
It was so funny...i laughed alot
How do you make a milkshake . Honestly , it's lame but I always crack up .
By shaking a cow . >.< LOL
you
susie's mother had four kids; north, south and east. What was the last kids name? (It's much funnier when you speak it, instead of writing it)
susie
Ok, I hope I can tell this right. Its one of my favorites! Here goes:
A Yale graduate and a redneck walked into a job interview. The boss said he would give the job to the person who wrote the best poem ending in the word "Timbuktu"
The Yale graduate was the first to give his poem:
Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels two by two,
Destination Timbuktu.
The boss was impressed.. He thought the redneck would never stand a chance against him-a YALE graduate.
Nevertheless, the redneck stood up and gave his poem:
A hunting Tim and I went,
Met three whores in a tent.
They were three and we were two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu!!!!
:)
7 8 9.
well, not really
i just can't remember
a good one right now :(
Once upon a time there was a redhead. The redhead was jumping on the train tracks singing "21, 21, 21!" Along came a blonde who saw the redhead and thought to herself what great fun the redhead must be having. I must go and join her. So the blonde went to the redhead and ask if she might join her and of course the redhead agreed.
So the two girls jumped happily on the tracks singing "21, 21, 21!"
And then all of a sudden the girls heard the the train whistle blow. The redhead jumped off, but the blonde being blonde stayed on the tracks and continued her song of "21,21,21"!
The train hit her.
The redhead waited until the train passed then smiled to herself. She jumped back onto the tracks and started singing a song. A new song called 22, 22,22.
LMAO SUGARCHICK1369. that was good!
Any blonde jokes.
A man was going to heaven and was waiting for St.Peter. While he was waiting he saw lots of humungous clocks. When St.Peter came he asked him "What are all these clocks?" St. Peter told him those are lie clocks. "Everybody in the world has lie clocks. Everytime you tell a lie it ticks one second." The man was still confused so St.Peter showed him. " See George Washingtons clock? It ticked only three times. See Lady Teressa's clock? It never ticked." The man looked around and asked "Where is George Bush's clock?" St.Peter smiled and answered " Oh don't worry about that clock I'm using it as a ceiling fan in my office."
The Old Tribesman
A family was visiting a Mexican reservation when they saw an old tribesman laying face down in the middle of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the blacktop.
The father of the family asked the old tribesman what he was doing. The tribesman began to speak.
“Woman, late thirties, three kids, one barking dog, in late model, four door station wagon, traveling at 65 m.p.h.”
“That’s amazing” exclaimed the father. “You can tell all of that by just listening to the ground”?
“No”, said the old tribesman. “They just ran over me five minutes ago”!