Man Utd fan in heaven?!
Question: A Man U fan dies on match day and goes to heaven wearing his Man U shirt.
He knocks on the pearly gatesand out comes St Peter.
St Peter says 'Sorry, no Manchester United supporters allowed in heaven.'
Astounded, the fan says, 'But i've been a good man?'
'Oh, really? What have you done?'
The fan replies 'Three weeks ago, i gave ￡10 to Save the children.'
St Peter says 'Hmm, anything else?'
He says 'Two weeks ago, i gave ￡10 to the homeless.'
'Anything else' says St Peter.
'Last week, i gave ￡10 to Albanian orphans.'
St Peter says, 'Very well. Wait here a minute while i have a word with the boss.'
Two minutes later, St Peter returns.
He says, 'I.ve had a word with God,and he agrees with me. Here's your ￡30 back, now f**k off.'
Answers: A Man U fan dies on match day and goes to heaven wearing his Man U shirt.
He knocks on the pearly gatesand out comes St Peter.
St Peter says 'Sorry, no Manchester United supporters allowed in heaven.'
Astounded, the fan says, 'But i've been a good man?'
'Oh, really? What have you done?'
The fan replies 'Three weeks ago, i gave ￡10 to Save the children.'
St Peter says 'Hmm, anything else?'
He says 'Two weeks ago, i gave ￡10 to the homeless.'
'Anything else' says St Peter.
'Last week, i gave ￡10 to Albanian orphans.'
St Peter says, 'Very well. Wait here a minute while i have a word with the boss.'
Two minutes later, St Peter returns.
He says, 'I.ve had a word with God,and he agrees with me. Here's your ￡30 back, now f**k off.'
being a scouser .very very funny. also i liked isabelles joke 2originals thats unusual on here. thanx.
Class!
Nice one
nice!
Very good.???
very good
Think that should be Arsenal fan !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I bet he made a ￡30 profit!
Great that one. Pity he was dead, he could have used the ￡30 for his gate money.
Another good one from you. lol
haha
hahahah.. my favorite part was the last part..
**** off. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh... hilarious!
ha ha ha that's right!... Here's one for you....
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!"
So, a woman goes to the store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign reads: "These men Have Jobs". The second floor sign reads: "These men Have Jobs and Love Kids". The third floor sign reads: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking."
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
At the fourth floor the sign reads: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework."
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak." She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: "You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store."
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street. It too has six floors. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. The third through sixth floors have never been visited.
As wee johnny would say...Brilliant....fu*king Brilliant
lol...............Good one!!!!!!
that's a very funny joke
lol
6am and no one to tell. Best in a long time. Thank you.
excellent.Love from Anfield ! xx
hahaha.
very funny.
happy 2008.