Tell me something funny...10 points for funniest joke?!
Question: There once was a little duckling, he was so ugly everyone died.
The End.
Answers: There once was a little duckling, he was so ugly everyone died.
The End.
A man died, and went to Hell. The devil was standing next to a group of guys, about 50 of them, standing knee-deep in sh*t, drinking Budweiser.
The man says, "Geez, this isn't so bad. I thought Hell would be a lot worse!"
Then a bell rings and the devil says, "OK guys, back to standing on your heads...break's over!"
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horses butt?
A Mechanic
ONE DAY A WOMAN WAS DRINKING SOME PORRIDGE AND A FLY FLEW IN HER MOUTH IT STARTED BUZZING ABOUT HER BODY, SHE GOT UPSET AND VISITED HER DOCTOR WHO SAID SHE NEEDED AN OPERATION SO HE CUT HER BELLY THEN THE FLY FLEW OUT AND SAID "YOU CUT THE BELLY BUT YOU DIDN'T CUT ME DANANANA I WAS HIDING IN THE LEFT TITTI" LOL!!
A Blonde's Year in Review
January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print
labels.....Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in the
printer!!!
March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... box
said "2-4 years!"
April
Trapped on escalator for hours ... the power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8
cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms and hands!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....
car swamped because soft-top was open.
September
The capital of California is "C".....isn't it?!?!?
October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December
Couldn't call 911 . "duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid
phone!!!
What is a mummy`s favorite kind of music?--------RAP.---------
girdle squirts
turtle the chicken and steven the squrill
donny and clyde gay robbers
adam and steve first gay people on earth
i breed roses
whats black and white and red all over?
a nun in a blender