Start off my year with a good laugh??!


Question: tell me some good ones plz??


Answers: tell me some good ones plz??

Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-a*ss guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand then."

Bakery Employee: 'Hello, how can I hep you?'
Customer: 'I would like to order a cake for a going away
party this week.'
Bakery Employee: 'What you want on cake?'
Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that
'We will miss you.'

CORRUPT JOKE BEWARE!!

A lady had a manservant named Alex. Alex was extremely careless, after many months, the lady said "I've had enough! Three more chances and u r out!!"

Alex did his best to be careful, but three days later......
STRIKE 1:Alex tried to stroke Boobykins, the lady's new cat but it clawed at him. In defense, he took it in his hands, and squeezed it.
STRIKE 2: Accidentally ripped lady's bra while doin laundry.
STRIKE 3: Alex was extremely thirsty. A bowl of Boobykins' milk was lyin on the table. The lady caught him drinking it.

The manservant was an illegal immi and refused 2 leave. She called the cops and said "This man tore my bra, squeezed my little boobsies and drank its milk!"

Mark as fave answer if u LOLLED!

Just heard this one.. Mexican taking a siesta is approached by a holy man. He asks the Mexican for the time. Mexican stretches, and slowly reaches out his right hand as far as he can and presses up/ gropes the genitals of his donkey. Mexican tells the holy man 'It's about 2:30'.
Holy man says 'How did you do that- holding that donkey like that?'
Mexican says 'Oh, it's easy, I stretch and lift them up to see the clock over there.'

New Guy On The Job

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office.
"What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.
"John," the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only... Smith, Jones, Baker... that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed, "Darling. My name is John Darling."
"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."



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