Best joke in the world?!
Question: A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
Answers: A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
Very good !!!
A man = a word....
That's what we call
DETERMINATION !!!
Good guy... Have a star please..
Aaron.
ahah (thats 2 ahs)
That was funny. Thanks for the laugh!
there yo go u got your own star for that
thats terrible
lol
Funny! Would be sad if it actually happened, but funny.
awesome! one of the best ive heard. now read these:
A young man wanted to purchase a Christmas gift for his girlfriend. After careful consideration, he decided on a pair of gloves.
Accompanied by his girlfriend's sister, he went to a department store and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of white panties for herself.
During the wrapping of the items, the clerk inadvertently mixed up the packages. The clerk handed the young man the packaged panties and then handed the packaged gloves to the sister.
On Christmas day, his girlfriend opened the gift, along with the following note:
Dear Kathy,
This is a little gift to show my love for you on Christmas day. I chose these because I noticed that you're not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. Had it not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easy to remove. They're a delicate shade, but not to worry because the female clerk showed me a pair that she'd been wearing for three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had a young salesgirl try them on for me and she really looked smart.
I wish I was there to put them on for you for the first time since no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I get a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow into them before putting them away since they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Also, be sure to keep them on when you clean them or otherwise they might shrink.
Just think how many times I will kiss them in the coming year. I hope you like them and will wear them for me on New Year's.
All my love,
Ryan
P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.
A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, "Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer cannot take that all that away. But, I must know, did he have a different father?"
The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for moment and then confessed. "Yes. Yes he did."
The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks, "Who? Who was he? Who was the father?"
Again, the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband. Then, finally, she says: "You."
A rich man and a poor man are having breakfast. Then the rich one, chewing a bubblegum, asks the poor one
-Do you eat all of ur bread?
-Sure...
-We dont. We eat only the best part of it and with the rest we make croiassants and sell to poor ppl-says the rich one, still chewing the bubblegum-now tell me... do u eat all of the fruits?
-yes...-says him, angry
-We dont. we eat only the pith of it, take the rest make jelly and sell it to poor ppl-says him full of himself, chewing that bubblegum
-and what do you do with the used condoms?
-nothing...
-we dont. we take em make bubblegums and sell to the f*cking snob richs!
LOL!
8/10
ha ha
superman is flying along and he sees wonder womans
bare *** hanging out a window. he swoops down at the speed
of light and starts buming her. because he is so fast no one sees him
wonder woman goes what was that?
the invisible man gets off her and goes i dont know but it
hurt allot
thats funny.
1 out of 10
I LIKE IT, MIKEY!
hahaha
That is funny and wrong. But mostly funny. Have a star.
Not really that funny to me the guy was a idiot.
101 Ways To Annoy People ( I only gave you 50 it was to long)
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
it was ok
u lie its not the best
Great joke lmao I think Knowledge doesn't like losing 5 points
i know its meant to be one of the funniest jokes...its ok but i don't find it that funny!! not even the first time! i laughed..but its not the funniest joke i've heard... =)
Best say happy birthday to this joke its as old as the hills but it is still funny
lol
LOL