What the funniest joke you have ever heard???!
Question: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He goes, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator goes "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy goes "OK, now what?"
Answers: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He goes, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator goes "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy goes "OK, now what?"
let me think about this and i'll get back with it......
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A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere she went. She
would even take the parrot to the club with her when she went dancing
and drinking on Saturday nights. Whenever the woman went onto the
dance floor, the parrot would yell, "The roof, the roof, the roof is
on fire, we don't need no water-let the mutthafukka burn! Burn, mutthafukka, burn!"
The crowd on the dance floor would always cheer and holler in
Appreciation when the parrot would yell. This would make the parrot
yell even more and of course make the crowd go wild. This would go
on all night long, every time the parrot went out.
One Sunday morning the woman took the parrot to church and into the
choir stand with her. And when the choir started to sing, the parrot
yelled, "The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, we don't need no
water-let the mo fo burn! Burn, mutthafukka, burn! She embarrassingly
corrected the parrot, "No, you don't say that here!!"
The parrot looked around and asked, "Why not? These are the same
mutthafukkas that was at the club last night!!!