New Work Policies?!
Question: SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of your employment contract.
PERSONAL DAYS:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
VACATION DAYS:
All employees will take their vacations at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4 & Dec. 25.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is unavoidable, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
Answers: SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of your employment contract.
PERSONAL DAYS:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
VACATION DAYS:
All employees will take their vacations at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4 & Dec. 25.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is unavoidable, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
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lol!
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