Does any1 kno any good blonde jokes???!
Question: Why can't a blonde get a drivers license?
Because every time the instructor says "Let's park" she jumps in the back seat.
. What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
Frosted Flakes.
Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Why don't blondes eat Jello?
They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
Because she blows the horn!
Why is a blonde like a door knob?
Because everybody gets a turn.
Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
Because she's been laid all over the country.
Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
She kept having affairs with men!
Answers: Why can't a blonde get a drivers license?
Because every time the instructor says "Let's park" she jumps in the back seat.
. What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
Frosted Flakes.
Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Why don't blondes eat Jello?
They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
Because she blows the horn!
Why is a blonde like a door knob?
Because everybody gets a turn.
Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
Because she's been laid all over the country.
Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
She kept having affairs with men!
blondes try to put the toaster in the bread.
blondes try to cook a barbacue on steak.
blondes try to sing in erghty.which is dumb.
cause erghty is not real.
three girls were driving throught the desert, one was a redhead, one was bunete and one was a blonde, they got out of the car to look at a bird, they locked themselves out, so they each took one thing, the brunete took a canteen, the redhe ad took he wallet, and the blonde took the car door, after walking for 3 miles the blonde says " no wonder why ive been so hot, i forgot to turn the window down"
OR
what did the blonde say when she looked in the Cheerios box, "LOOK! doughnut seeds
Found a few,Hope you like them.
BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Arkansas were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?????"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named
Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
a blonde walked into the hairdressers with an ipod and sits in a chair the lady says you have to take the ipod out or i cant cut your hair the blonde no the lady repeats herself and still the blonde says no so the lady goes to cut her hair and slips the ear phones out of the blondes ears and the blonde chokes and dies the lady wondering what was so important to that blondes life holds the earphones up to her ears and hears "Breathe in, Breath out"
an oldie and not even a goodie but its a blonde joke
http://www.jokesblonde.com/
The blonde college student went into class to take a true-false exam. When the exam started she took out a quarter and flipped it and then filled in a bubble on the test form. She did that for every single question. She finally got done with the test right before the exam period was over. When the instructor said that time was almost up, she began flipping the quarter again and once in a while she would write on her test. The instructor asked he what she was doing. She said "Hello???, I'm checking my answers."
Don't know them, not blonde, but enjoy reading them. Sorry blondes. There are many blondes I like but find overtime they are actually light borwn/bottled so....