A few short ones for you. from no8??!


Question: BABYTALK
A gang member was holding his 8-month-old baby while his wife was in the kitchen fixing lunch. The baby murmured "mother." The guy gets all excited and hollered to his wife, "Hey, the baby just said half a word!"

COLD CREAM
Little Billy watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Billy. "Giving up?"

HEAVIER
Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?
A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

ELDERLY WIDOW
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home is it?"

TEMPERAMENTAL
My girlfriend is temperamental—90% temper and 10% mental.

SCATTERED ASHES
An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."


Answers: BABYTALK
A gang member was holding his 8-month-old baby while his wife was in the kitchen fixing lunch. The baby murmured "mother." The guy gets all excited and hollered to his wife, "Hey, the baby just said half a word!"

COLD CREAM
Little Billy watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Billy. "Giving up?"

HEAVIER
Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?
A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

ELDERLY WIDOW
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home is it?"

TEMPERAMENTAL
My girlfriend is temperamental—90% temper and 10% mental.

SCATTERED ASHES
An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

Lol Honey how true is that Heavier one,here have a star and thanks for that laugh.xxxx

all very good,liked the first one best!!

Liked them alot, good work.

I liked the cold cream one, lol.

like em all!!

good one (s) !!

ROTFLOL!!!!!


LOVE EM!!! POST MORE ~PLEASE~

l.o.l.

LOLOLOL!
Absolutely fugging hilarious!!
i liked babytalk and heavier the best!!
HAHAHAHA!!
Have a star :) x

that is crazy and funny kl

LOL.
Liked them all, and a lot.
Star.

not bad our kidda,keep em rockin!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

hahahaha!! very funny

HaHaHa
That was very funny.
Thanks for sharing.



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