Anyone good with poems??? i need to revise this and make it interesting?!


Question: Ten little Indian boys went out to dine One choked his little self and then there were Nine.
Nine little Indian boys sat up very late One overslept himself and then there were Eight.
Eight little Indian boys traveling in Devon One said he'd stay there and then there were Seven.
Seven little Indian boys chopping up sticks One chopped himself in halves and then there were Six.
Six little Indian boys playing with a hive A bumblebee stung one and then there were Five.
Five little Indian boys going in for law One got into Chancery and then there were Four.
Four little Indian boys going out to sea A red herring swallowed one and then there were Three.
Three little Indian boys walking in the Zoo A big bear hugged one and then there were Two.
Two little Indian boys were out in the sun One got all frizzled up and then there was one.
One little Indian boy left all alone; He went out and hanged himself and then there were none.

i need to revise thisk and im not very good with poems :/


Answers: Ten little Indian boys went out to dine One choked his little self and then there were Nine.
Nine little Indian boys sat up very late One overslept himself and then there were Eight.
Eight little Indian boys traveling in Devon One said he'd stay there and then there were Seven.
Seven little Indian boys chopping up sticks One chopped himself in halves and then there were Six.
Six little Indian boys playing with a hive A bumblebee stung one and then there were Five.
Five little Indian boys going in for law One got into Chancery and then there were Four.
Four little Indian boys going out to sea A red herring swallowed one and then there were Three.
Three little Indian boys walking in the Zoo A big bear hugged one and then there were Two.
Two little Indian boys were out in the sun One got all frizzled up and then there was one.
One little Indian boy left all alone; He went out and hanged himself and then there were none.

i need to revise thisk and im not very good with poems :/

9 little indian boys went on a date, one got rejected, then there were eight

What are you, a sick and disgusting KKK member?

The poem i wrote got me kickd outta school for a week...you know your poem is GREAT when that happens!...if anyone would like to hear it, let me know...i love sharing!

Sing it standing up, possibly bobbing up and down. It's funny, I know, but I just learnt the first two parts doing that!

Use heaps of expression, like a nursery rhyme song!

Oh and yourpastlover's, that's not very nice, he didn't write it, it's famous and it's in a book called and then there were none.. I knew I recongised it! It's very scary.

lmao, ok it is not the best thing in the world, but it definately will catch the readers attention.

NO!

Ten little Indian boys went out to dine One choked himself leaving the nine.
Nine little Indian boys sat up very late One overslept now we're down to Eight.
Eight little Indian boys traveling in Devon One decided to stay so now we've got Seven.
Seven little Indian boys chopping up sticks One cut himself then there were Six.
Six little Indian boys batting at a hive, Ticked off the Bumblebee and then there were Five.
Five little Indian boys coming through a door 1 slammed 5 and now only 4.
Four little Indian boys going out to sea one fell over and oops is it 3?
Three little Indian boys walking in the Zoo the mean bear hugged one and then there were Two.
Two little Indian boys were out in the sun One got all shrivelled up and then there was one.
One little Indian boy left all alone; He overdosed on Prozac so now ...we have none.

lol..great poem i dont think there is no need to change this or revise it its so good 5 stars***** and a smile:)



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