Give me the funniest joke you can think of and you get 10 points!!!!!?!
Question: A little girl finds her dog dead with its legs in the air, and asks her dad "why is it like dat"? her dad says "its died and its like dat, so jesus can pick it up an take it to heaven" Next day she says "Dad mum nearly died today she was on her back with her legs in the air shouting "oh jesus im comming" . if the milkman hadnt been holding her down we'd have lost her"!!
HOWS DA'!!!
Answers: A little girl finds her dog dead with its legs in the air, and asks her dad "why is it like dat"? her dad says "its died and its like dat, so jesus can pick it up an take it to heaven" Next day she says "Dad mum nearly died today she was on her back with her legs in the air shouting "oh jesus im comming" . if the milkman hadnt been holding her down we'd have lost her"!!
HOWS DA'!!!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha , now that was funny
I love listening to jokes...but I can never remember them after, Sorry
A british company is developing computer chips that store music in womans breat implants. The company spokesperson says its a major breakthrough, as women are always complaining that men are always staring at their breasts without listening to them.
I have a few on the jokes section at the moment which are not bad! Care to have a look? thanks! if you do I will give you a star!
Will comedy duo be OK. George Bush & Tony Blair
The funniest joke is the question listed directly below yours when you click on All Categories. If you can't see it, here it is. Think about the irony of your question and this one right below:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
Whats the difference between a washing machine and a virgin? The washing machine won't stalk you after you put a load in it!
person 1: why did the dog sit in the shade?
person 2: why?
person 1: because he didnt want to be a hotdog!
person 2: hahahaahah that that was funny! u should get picked best answer!
person 1: ikno riight!??!?!?
=D
Why did the plane crash into the water?
The pilot was a loaf of bread...
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Answer:
Dunno, Depends how hard you can throw them.
It was the happiest day of my life....
Arrived at the church......
Wife waiting at the altar.....
Walked up the aisle...kissed her on the cheek... smiled....
And closed the f*****g lid !!!!!
there was once a blond a brunette and a redhead,theywere stranded in a desert and then they met a genie...thegenie says "ill give you one wish only if you listen to all onehundred of my jokes WITHOUT laughing.so the genie started telling jokes... the brunette laughed at the twentieth joke and the redhead laughed at the 60th joke so now it was only the blond...then finally at the 99th joke the blond laughed and the genie asked "why did u laugh u were almost done" and then the blond replied "well, this is the first one i understood"
Man go`s in a Pub... Which is unusual, cos you normally just get Crisps and Peanuts.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"
Whats brown and sticky?.............A Stick
When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
1.A man was on his deathbed when he called his wife over to him and he said,"You were there when my mom died and you were right by my side when my business was going down and you were even there when I was mugged ,and I just wanna say get the hell away from me i think youre bad luck!
hahaha
2.A pope dies and goes to heaven when he gets there he decides hes going to spend the next eon learning the ancient original text of the bible.After becoming a linguistics master he sits down in the library to read the scriptures when angel librarian hears a loud scream and goes running to its only source and he finds the shaking pope."the R, the R, they left out the R.
"What do you mean?"the librarian asked
The word was meant to be CELEBRATE!!!!!
hahahahahaha
3.A blonde,a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island when they meet a genie and the genie say ill grant you all 1 wish the redhead says i wish was at home ,POOF she was gone ,the brunette said I wish I was at home too ,POOF she was gone,the blonde looked around and said I wish my friends were back.
what's about 6in. long, is in a man's pants, has a head, and women love to blow it?
Answer: Money
why dont elephants pick there trunks ?
how would you hide a 20 lb bogey !!!!!!!!
Ok, there is a blonde, redhead, and brunette. They are all running from the cops. They hide in a barn to get away. The brunette hides behind a cow, the redhead with the pigs, and the blonde in a sack of potatoes. The cops come in. They look at the cows and the brunette says mooooo. They go to the pigs and the redhead says OINK. They go to the sack of potatoes where the blonde is and the blonde says, po-tat-toooooos. She gets caught and goes to jail.
Here's some.
Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Cow! it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Cow!... A talking muffin!"
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants.
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands outside and dares it to grow.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice
why don't elephants pick their trunks?
They have personal shoppers!
very worried man gos to doctor and while he is waiting, another man comes out of the surgery all smiles and delight.."I had a red ring around my penis, " he explains, " |I was terrified but the doc just took a piece of gauze and some sort of cream and wiped it away!"
The other guy goes into the surgery and presents his own penis, which as a green ring around it, to his horror the doctor takes a look and says," It'll have to come off."
"Come off?" cries the patient, " The last guy said you just used some cream to make the ring on his penis disappear!"
"Well, " says the doctor, "There's a bit of a difference between lipstick and gangrene..."
This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100. The neighbor says, "You can have this rooster. His name's Roy. He'll get all your hens pregnant. He's a real stud." So the farmer takes him home and says, "It's your first day so take it slow, okay?" The farmer puts Roy in the hen house and then hears all the hens crying and yelling. Roy nailed every one of those hens and then nailed a duck and a goose at a pond. The next morning the farmer finds Roy lying dead with his legs sticking in the air and buzzards circling overhead. The farmer says, "Roy, did you have to die?" Roy says, "Quiet! They're about to land!"
a woman goes to buy a parrot, they are ￡100, ￡200 and ￡15, she asks why is the last one so cheap? the assistant replies " he used to live in a brothel". ok i dont mind she says and she buys it.
when she gets it home the parrot says" great a new brothel" the woman thinks this is funny,
the womans 2 daughters come in and the parrot says "great new prossies", they all laugh,
later the husband comes in and the parrot says "hya pete not seen you for weeks"
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the judge says to the prostitute "so when did you realise you were raped?"
the prostitute replies " when his cheque bounced"