Can someone make me smile?!
Question: Tell me something funny, jokes? storys??
Answers: Tell me something funny, jokes? storys??
Here is one for you Amber:
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
If this made you smile for even a brief second, please rise to the occasion and take time to pass it on and share that smile with someone else who may be having a crumby day and kneads it.
My cousin came over today with her newborn baby, she asked me to wind him while she went to the toilet but i thought that was a bit harsh so i just gave him a dead leg :)
open ur mouth....show me ur teeth. see ur already smiling
when i was at the hospital 2 days ago ( minor car accident) i had to wear those gowns where ur butt hangs out in the back..when i got up to go to the bathroom, i forgot that tose gows expose you bunz so i put on a nice lil peep show for all the nurses and this reeally cute boy.
Can you read,there are so many jokes man read them.
http://www.rinkworks.com/said/
use this link. lots of funny stuff. nearly suffocated by laughing too hard. serious. it's nice.
ANIMAL NEWS:
HEADLINES:
1.The queen of ants was killed.
2.The battle between eagle and rats.
3.The biggest criminalescaped from jail.
4.Mr.Fox awarded national award.
NEWS IN DETAILS:
1.The famous queen ant was killed by an elephant.While she was going for a walk,the elephant shot her with 'AK47'.The police ant prisoned the elephant.
2.Yesterday there was a battle between eagles and bats.In this battle 10 were killed and 15 were injured.Afraid of this battle the elehant got afraid and went inside the bottle and fishes came out and started living on trees and birds sterted living in the water.
3.The biggest criminal Mr.Lion today escaped from the jail.He killed many animals,robbed many people and houses.The police commissioner is searching for Mr.Lion.
4.Our prime minister Manmohan singh today gave the national award to Mr.Fox for his new invention 'CHOTA BADA'.It is a machine which changes a big man into a small one and a small one into big one.It is the first invention in the world.
WEATHER:
1.In kashmir instead of ice,samosas and wadas are falling.
So,please open your mouths.
Gentle thoughts for today.
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good
friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt .
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells Theirs?"
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth...AMEN