Try to make me laugh...first one get best answer?!
Question: my BF just broke up w/ me...i don't really care though i was about 2 break up w/ him (a complete idiot) but he beat me 2 it. Anywho, I've had a "blah" day...try to cheer me up with something funny. first to get a laugh (not a smile) gets best answer.
Answers: my BF just broke up w/ me...i don't really care though i was about 2 break up w/ him (a complete idiot) but he beat me 2 it. Anywho, I've had a "blah" day...try to cheer me up with something funny. first to get a laugh (not a smile) gets best answer.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
PLZ! gimme 10 points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ur mom!
jk
its cuz hes gay thats why he
vroke up wit u!
Teacher: *points to Johnny* OK Johnny, tell us your riddle!
Johnny: *gets up and stands in front of class* What starts with 'F' and ends with 'uck'?
Teacher: *gasps*
Nobody raises their hand.
Johnny: Firetruck!
______________________________...
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!"
"This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."
______________________________...
A husband and wife were involved in an argument, both
of them unwilling to admit they might be in error.
"I'll admit I'm wrong," the wife told her husband, "if you'll admit I'm right."
He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first.
"I'm wrong," she said.
With a twinkle in his eye, he responded, "You're right!"
______________________________...
A woman rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few
items. She headed for the express line where the clerk
was talking on the phone with his back turned to her.
"Excuse me," she said, "I'm in a hurry. Could you check
me out?"
The clerk turned, stared at her for a second, looked her
up and down, smiled and said, "Not bad."
______________________________...
There are three girls a blond, a brunette, and a red-head.They are walking through a forest.The Brunette says " Eagle" and she turns into an eagle and flys away. The Red-head says " Sparrow" and she flys away as a sparrow. The blond trips over the root of tree and says ''Oh poo".
______________________________...
A man is driving along a highway
and sees a rabbit jump out
across the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid hitting it,
but unfortunately
the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.
The driver,
a sensitive man as well as an animal lover,
pulls over and gets out to see
what has become of the rabbit.
Much to his dismay,
the rabbit is dead.
The driver feels so awful
that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman
driving down the highway
sees a man crying on the
side of the road
and pulls over.
She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.
"I feel terrible," !
he explains,
"I accidentally hit this rabbit
and killed it."
The blonde says,
"Don't worry."
She runs to her car
and pulls out a spray can.
She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit,
bends down,
and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.
The rabbit jumps up,
waves its paw at the two of them
and hops off down the road.
Ten feet away the rabbit stops,
turns around and waves again,
he hops down the road another 10 feet,
turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves,
and repeats this again and again and again,
until he hops out of sight.
The man is astonished.
He runs over to the woman and demands,
"What is in that can?
What did you spray on that rabbit?"
The woman turns the can around
so that the man can read the label.
It says..
>>>> >>
>>>> >>
>>>> >>
>>>> >>
>>>> >>
>>>> >>
>>>> >>
>>>> >>
>>>> >>
>>>> >>
"Hair Spray -
Restores life to dead hair,
and adds permanent wave."
____________________________________.....
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
______________________________...
TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign..
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
______________________________...
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
______________________________...
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
in chinese "ur body odor is offensive" is "yu stin ki pu"
a boy invited this girl over he told her, come to my house.her names lily. she said lily dunt wanna lily dunt wanna. ill give u a cookie! OK. come into my room, she said again lily dunt wanna ill give u a cookie. ok. come onto my bed. lily dunt wanna. ill give u a cookie. ok. get on me. lily dunt wanna. ill give u a cookie. ok. get off of me my moms here! Lily dunt wanna. o snap i ran outta cookies!
What's the difference between a run-over cop than a run-over dog???
(you can find brake tracks before the dog) :)
Visit
http://inergized.googlepages.com
This page is guarenteed to make you laugh and it is updated daily. There are picture, jokes, videos, and if you get bored you can even play some games.
how do you kill 200 Ethiopians in one shot?
smack an Ethiopian with a frying pan.
What do you call cheese that is not yours, ...........................................
nacho cheese.
those are funny.
Why did the one-eyed chicken cross the road?
to get to the Birdseye shop!!!
2 muffins are put into an oven to bake. when the door is shut the first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "hey man, we gotta get outa here!" The 2nd muffin turns to the first and says "What the hell, a talkin muffin!!!"
Q. Why do bald men make holes in their pockets???
A. So that they can play with their hair!!! Or like my dear Chinese friend 'Hu Yu Fa King' says. "So that they feel c#cky all day!!!"
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket."
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."
The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles.
"Great," he replies, "Get your own blanket!"
what starts with F and ends with UCK
FIRETRUCK!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24Ryj1ywo...
Copy and paste this link and watch it! If Russell Peters does not make you laugh, then I'm sorry but nothing will...
?In the beginning...
GOD created MEN...?
LOL ... That's a good one. Huh !?!?!?
Aaron Moses.