All puns intended...?!
Question: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer, please, and one for the road."
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
Patient: "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'."
Doc: "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
Patient: "Is that common?"
Doc: "It's not unusual."
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true! No bull!" exclaims Daisy.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
I went to buy some camouflage pants the other day, but I couldn't find any.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't - you lost your arms!"
I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Answers: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer, please, and one for the road."
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
Patient: "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'."
Doc: "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
Patient: "Is that common?"
Doc: "It's not unusual."
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true! No bull!" exclaims Daisy.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
I went to buy some camouflage pants the other day, but I couldn't find any.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't - you lost your arms!"
I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
two other good ones are
a crib takes many nails to make but only one screw to fill it
and
man who has his hands in his pockets feels cocky all day
Nice collection!
ahahahhaa good one, i like hte fish one