What is you best dog joke?!
Question: I got a dog with no legs..................
He's called f@g..................
each night I take him out for a drag..
I went to a zoo and they had no animals except one dog........
It was a Shitzu
Answers: I got a dog with no legs..................
He's called f@g..................
each night I take him out for a drag..
I went to a zoo and they had no animals except one dog........
It was a Shitzu
My brothers dog had a bad leg so he took it to the vets. The vet picked up the dog and had a good look at it then turned to my brother and said 'i'm going to have to put the dog down'. My brother was devastated and couldn't believe it was so serious. 'Oh its not serious' said the vet, 'but hes really heavy'.
A quick one then.
What's the differencence between a Rottweiler and a Poodle?
If a Rotty starts humping your leg, you let him finish. :-)
TWO DOGS,EARL AND BILY JOE WERE IN THE PARK KILLING TIME,WHEN EARL ASKED"WHAT YOU WANT TO DO"? "I DONT KNOW EARL, WHAT YOU WANT TO DO"? "YOU WANT TO GO CHASE A FEW CARS"ASKED EARL. "I DONT THINK SO "SAYS BILLY JOE "THAT KIND OF HURTS MY HEAD". "WHAT, DOES THE FUMES GET TO YOUR HEAD"ASKED EARL."NOPE"SAYS BILLY JOE, ITS WHEN THEY RUN OVER MY HEAD!!!!!!!
what do you get if you breed a bulltairer with a shitzu
bullshit
I heard from a friend how a Chihuahua killed a Great Dane!
It got stuck in it's throat!
Or the avid golfer who took his pet 'Jack Russell' with him. Whenever he made a below par shot his dog would do the 'Michael Jackson Moonwalk' plus a few 'slip and slide' steps and finally the 'high five' with his master. On this particular day having witnessed this great event, an onlooker came over to congratulate the golfer on having such a clever dog. 'That's nothing! You should see him when he does his somersaults! says the golfer. 'Somersaults!' gasped the onlooker, 'How many does he do? Without glancing up from his critical putt the golfer says 'That depends on how hard I kick him!
Whta do you call a dog with no legs ?
Doesn't matter he ain't gonna come anyway!
What do you call a dog with no back legs and brass balls ?
SPARKY !
My uncle bought a disobedient dog and called it Syndrome. He spends all day shouting "Down Syndrome Down"
Help Wanted
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.
Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.
The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."
The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give you the job."
The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual."
The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow."