Wana fall from laughter?!
Question: Blondes!
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
***************
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses.
The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while
covering the right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was
which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to
see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the
letters. As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her
face.
"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about
getting glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire
frames."
*************
Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that 1
out of every 4 children born in the world was Chinese.
***************
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip
of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room
doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde
replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting
your finger off?" "No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my
chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants,
I'm not shooting myself in the chest." "So then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00
to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." "So
then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a
loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the
trigger."
*****************
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power
outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
*****************
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided
to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe
really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home,
got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe.
Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happen.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow
into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate
rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows
first."
****************
****************
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver
thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it
over to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "Why, that's a
thermos.....it keeps some things hot and some things cold." "Wow, said the
blonde,
"that's amazing.... I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took
it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that,' he
asked?
"Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot and cold things
cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee".
=========
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf
balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls".
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and
finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked ..
"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
Answers: Blondes!
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
***************
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses.
The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while
covering the right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was
which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to
see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the
letters. As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her
face.
"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about
getting glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire
frames."
*************
Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that 1
out of every 4 children born in the world was Chinese.
***************
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip
of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room
doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde
replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting
your finger off?" "No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my
chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants,
I'm not shooting myself in the chest." "So then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00
to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." "So
then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a
loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the
trigger."
*****************
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power
outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
*****************
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided
to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe
really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home,
got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe.
Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happen.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow
into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate
rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows
first."
****************
****************
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver
thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it
over to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "Why, that's a
thermos.....it keeps some things hot and some things cold." "Wow, said the
blonde,
"that's amazing.... I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took
it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that,' he
asked?
"Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot and cold things
cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee".
=========
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf
balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls".
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and
finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked ..
"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
hahahaha!!!!
excellent
thanks for sharing
star 4 all of them
ROFLZ
hi... ... i didnt fall laughing... what did i miss..?
thankyou I really enjoyed and am giving you an interesting point thingy, I hope it adds to your points
hahahaha
i like the one about shooting her finger off.
and the popsicle and coffee one haha
but they are all funnyyyy =]
OMG Lmao....Sadly I didn't get some of those, but they are funny
i loved them!!! post more!! :)
BLONDES~~BLONDES~~BLONDES!!!
OMFG ROTFLMFAO
Those are beautiful! I'm forwarding those right away!
lol*
its funn, i luv blonde jokes, but i am a blonde!!!!!
haha..........funny...........
oh yah ...ps: the only blondes that are stupid, are the blondes that bleach their hair.
lol those are awesome, i luv blonde jokes. (actually blondes as a whole) :b
LOL! I love the thermos one!