What do you think of this one? it sounds sooo much like me right now!!?!
Question: Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.
You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
Every time I think about exercise, I lie down til the thought goes away.
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.
It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
Stress reducer: Put a bag on your head. Mark it "Closed for remodeling." **caution - leave air holes.
I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
Answers: Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.
You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
Every time I think about exercise, I lie down til the thought goes away.
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.
It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
Stress reducer: Put a bag on your head. Mark it "Closed for remodeling." **caution - leave air holes.
I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
hahahahhaaaa....worth finding...lmao
sweet
What tired old s#!t
is this from ziggy? cathy? garfield?
a t-shirt catalog?
HAHAHA!!
those are soo true!
i love it! heres a star!!
=]]
Ohh those are good! I love the first one!
You made my day :)
Those are great. Did you write them? If you did you are very talented.
Very true in the most part. Sorry I've run out of stars for today. :(
Funny! 100!
those are great
like it a lot almost every one of em i'd give you muliple ************if i could
The BEST today!!!
ROTFLMHineyO!!!
:)
ahahahah do you have more? id like to read more of those
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.u are brilliant babes like this one the best
This really sounds like me at the moment lol. star
lol
they are just ok...
Ha ha ha!!! xD
Excellent!!! xD
Here's a star! *
lol so very true, loved them
thx for the laugh
stared my friend