Hey, please tell me any goood and coool SMS joke????!
Question: and ya, Sms jokes should be short as possible... it should not be so large like a story allright..!!!
Answers: and ya, Sms jokes should be short as possible... it should not be so large like a story allright..!!!
Santa: Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator?
Banta: I give up.
Santa: Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music
*********
Jasmeet: "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband Santa."
Judge: "But why?"
Jasmeet: "Because he is not faithful to me."
Judge: "How do you know?"
Jasmeet: "My lord, not a single child resembles him."
*********
From his deathbed, Santa called his wife Jasmeet and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Banta."
Jasmeet: "Banta! But he is your enemy!"
Santa: " Yes, I know that! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."
*********
Banta: I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife Preeto that I'd be home tonight, and when I got into my room I found Preeto in another man's arms.
Santa: kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, " Maybe, she didn't get the fax."
Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees".
The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.
Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?"
The cannibals disown all knowledge of the missing developer. After the boss left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of you idiots ate the developer?"
One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You FOOL! For four weeks we've been eating team leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed anything, and now YOU ate one developer and it got noticed. So hereafter please don't eat a person who is working ."
Prince Charles & Santa Singh were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Santa Singh thinks "how poetic"
Santa Singh says, "pass the custard you bastard".
************ ********* ********* ********* ********
Banta Singh at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Banta Singh says - "Baljith Singh Married"
************ ********* ********* ********* ********
Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary
Rs.2000/-, is it o.?
Santa Singh: U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but? ?
How much is DRIVING salary...?
************ ********* ********* ********* ********
Santa-Banta Theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it
gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during
the day when light is not needed!!!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********
Santa & Banta Singh were driving a Car, one puts on the indicator
and asks the other to check whether its working, he puts his head
out and says YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...
************ ********* ********* ********* ********
Santa Singh shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do
register marriage and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u
yesterday whole day in the post office....
************ ********* ********* ************ *****
Banta Singh is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts
its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he
wrote the conclusion.. ....
....... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut -
it becomes deaf......"
************ ********* ********* ********* ********
A Tamilian call up Santa Singh and asks " tamil therima??"
Santa Singh got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
************ ********* ********* ********* ********
Santa & Banta Singh looking at Egyptian mummy.
Santa Singh: Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Banta Singh: Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
************ ********* ********* ********* ********
Banta Singh on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Banta Singh: Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating now....
************ ********* ********* ********* ********
Santa Singh for an exam had studied only one essay
'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced
friend with father in the essay and>it read:
I AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY
TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********
Interviewer: what s ur qualification?
Banta Singh: Sir I am Ph.D.
Interviewer : what do u mean by Ph.D?
Banta Singh: (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. ..
************ ********* ********* ********* ********
Amitabh : In which state Cauvery flows?
Santa Singh: liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS....
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, " You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side...
You know what?" "What dear?", she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."
INTERVIEW: Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?
Sardar: Simple, stop imagining.
Sardar starts shouting in a store... where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper : There is nothing free with this
Sardar: It is written CHOLESTROL FREE.
Sardar: in my dreams rats play football every night
DR: take this tablet you will be ok
Sardar: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final match.
Titanic was sinking.
An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards !
You are beautiful,
you are smart,
you are nice,
you are awesome,
you are my love
you are like an angel
For more jokes like this please email me :)
sure...
There r 20 angels in the heaven,
19 r buisy with some or other job,
And one is reading this SMS.
:D
veg or non veg?? plz specify it
-->some of the best moments in life.Lying in bed listening 2 d rainoutside, thinking abt the person u love, A long drive on a calm road, Finding money in ur old jeans just when U need it, Giggling over silly jokes, Holding hands with a frnd, Getting a hug frm some1 who loves U, the momeny ur eyes, fil with tears after a big laugh.Wishing U all these moments in life always!
--->Husband said to wife did U hav any boyfrnd before MARRAIGE? wife silent. Husband: mai iss khamoshi ko kya samjhu??
Wife: Kamine ginne to de...
--->Height of embarrasment "A man was sitting with his wife in a bar, another lady came 2 his wife & said "PAISE PEHLE LE LENA, YE AADMI BAAD MAI LAFDA KARTA HAI."
-->Nishabd - he is 60 ,she is 18, when they went on their 1st date they did nothing why?
She knew nothing and he forget everything.....
-->"Listen to your elder's advice -- not becoz the R always right but they have more experience of being wrong"!
--> If time doesn't wait for u,don't worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy Life!