"Hickphonics," Joke.?!
Question: The Atlanta School Board, sensing that Oakland cashed in by labeling African American slang as the language "Ebonics," has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer pipeline through Washington by designating Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools.
A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone. The following are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:
HEIDI - noun. Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: Heidi, hire yew?"
BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - noun. The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
BAMMER - noun. The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
THANK - verb. Ability to cognitively process.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
BARE - noun. An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."
TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
FAT - noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed....mus' be from some farn country."
DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."
EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe....give 'im some ear!"
BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"
HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah....haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit 'n 'is laf."
SEED - verb, past tense of "to see."
VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City....view?"
GUMMIT - Noun. A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert."
Answers: The Atlanta School Board, sensing that Oakland cashed in by labeling African American slang as the language "Ebonics," has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer pipeline through Washington by designating Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools.
A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone. The following are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:
HEIDI - noun. Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: Heidi, hire yew?"
BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - noun. The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
BAMMER - noun. The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
THANK - verb. Ability to cognitively process.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
BARE - noun. An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."
TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
FAT - noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed....mus' be from some farn country."
DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."
EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe....give 'im some ear!"
BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"
HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah....haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit 'n 'is laf."
SEED - verb, past tense of "to see."
VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City....view?"
GUMMIT - Noun. A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert."
good list matey.
star award
haha good ones
star for you !
=D
It is really long joke but i read it is goodie
my friend moved up north from the south and she'll get a kick out of this, thanks. here have a star.
takes a while to get through but its worth it :]
Great !
Funny but long.
ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh
hahahaha!!!
hilarious lol
thanks for sharing.
hehehe, excellent hun, pmsl
big gold one for you lol.
loved it!
Hi,thanks thats made my night.lol
hahaha! very good i like it! :)
That is brilliant. Well worth a star. thanks for sharing. lol
LMAO! All of those were hilarious and since I'm from Georgia, I know some people who talk like that!! *star* for you!
lol
I like.
Lol Honey I really loved them,thanks for the laugh,and pls have a star.xxx
Hey you do redneck hickbillies real well...wouldn't be related now would ya? LOL a star for a 10 star joke. (((((Dave)))))