For random people ONLY?!


Question: INSANE articles I wrote for a magazine-ish thing I made last year. Read at your own risk and feel free to criticize. I repeat, ONLY A RANDOM PERSON WILL UNDERSTAND AND/OR ENJOY THIS!!!

(It's supposed to be math)

“Elmo and Big Bird are hanging out in the alley smoking a joint. They meet Bert at the corner who just jacked 15 grams of coke off the Cookie Monster. If Bert sells that **** at 400 a gram to Barney then how much will Bert make after he pays for three hoes and his rent?”

"Right after running four red lights and hitting some dude’s mailbox, Mr. Rogers decided he was hungry. If he orders twelve cheeseburgers from Wendy’s and doesn’t feel like paying; then how many bullets will he use shooting the cashier, how many gallons of gas will he burn running from the cops, and how many years will he get in prison when caught?"


Answers: INSANE articles I wrote for a magazine-ish thing I made last year. Read at your own risk and feel free to criticize. I repeat, ONLY A RANDOM PERSON WILL UNDERSTAND AND/OR ENJOY THIS!!!

(It's supposed to be math)

“Elmo and Big Bird are hanging out in the alley smoking a joint. They meet Bert at the corner who just jacked 15 grams of coke off the Cookie Monster. If Bert sells that **** at 400 a gram to Barney then how much will Bert make after he pays for three hoes and his rent?”

"Right after running four red lights and hitting some dude’s mailbox, Mr. Rogers decided he was hungry. If he orders twelve cheeseburgers from Wendy’s and doesn’t feel like paying; then how many bullets will he use shooting the cashier, how many gallons of gas will he burn running from the cops, and how many years will he get in prison when caught?"

Bert don't have to pay his hoes... his hoes gotta pay Bert! He's a PIMP. I've heard rent has gone up recently on Sesame street so he's payin $1500 for a 2 bedroom apartment so after that he has $4500 in his pocket.

Mr. Rogers has a Glock 17 and he's not afraid to empty a whole clip on a fool he don't like so he busted 17 caps in that cashiers @ss and his Broham Cadillac has about 18 gallons of gas so that's how much he'll burn and since he's got two strikes already he'll get his third strike and do life on Death Row.

dude this is funny sh*t!


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@The peanut gallery

this guy's a stoner, there are different definitions between randoms for us and this special breed of super-redneck

It sounds like something out of a math book called "Arithmetic in the Ghetto"

Nope, unfunny. Not even a chuckle. Not even a smirk. I'm honestly just mad now. And hungry. Sh*t seriously doesn't even make sense. F'in Dave Chappelle knock-off wannabe mother f'er.

Oh wait! I get it! You're taking ordinary childrens' role models and tv characters and making them seem like hip drug dealers, pimps and hoes! Unprecedented! Write something original.

-342 dollars, 2 bullets, 3 gallons because that is all he had in the first place, and 40 to life

:)hilarious

Haha!! That is pure genius!! =) I suck at math though so you know I can't give you an answer. But I am totally random so that is just great!! =)

Too funny! Here's my guesses on the answers:

The hoes will cost Bert $100 each, and the room will cost him $50. This leaves him $5650.

Mr. Rogers will use two bullets shooting the cashier, ten gallons of gas running from the cops, and he'll get fifteen years in prison.

Thanks. Very entertaining.

Funny:)LOL

Mr. Rogers will get no jail time cause he is dead.
And one thing you may want to know. No one in PARTICULAR is answering this. We are all random.

Bart will make one million dollars, but will lose it all in his next deal.
Mr. Rodgers will use 14 bullets, but he will accidentally shoot himself in the foot twice, so twelve bullets.
He will use 1/2 gallon of gas because he is an idiot and forgot to fill up before he left, so he will run out of gas and that's how the cops will catch him.
He only spends one night in prison because some other criminal there hates Mr. Rodgers' T.V. show so they will beat him to death with a bar of soap inside a sock. :P

Well, for the first question, obviously no money would be made because it's impossible for Bert to sell to Barney when they exist in separate shows.

For the second question, Mr. Rogers would use 2 bullets from the shotgun hidden under his sweater, wouldn't burn any gas at all since he's running, and would get 5 years in prison until his puppets come and bust him out.



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