Letter of complaint written by a "hormonal" woman?!
Question: letter sent to Proctor & Gamble
TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER
BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE
Dear Mr. Thatcher
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core (tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horse riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?
As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realise it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.
Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that the UK is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."
Are you *+*#*ing kidding me?
What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable?
Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Nurofen and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Tesco's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"?- Or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an ￡8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Answers: letter sent to Proctor & Gamble
TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER
BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE
Dear Mr. Thatcher
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core (tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horse riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?
As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realise it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.
Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that the UK is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."
Are you *+*#*ing kidding me?
What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable?
Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Nurofen and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Tesco's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"?- Or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an ￡8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
LMAO!! thats excellent!
Do they really say have a happy period?. I would appreciate it if they did,that appeals to my humour, but I dont think always have even been on the market for 20 years so I think it is made up?
In the days gone by it was Dr Whites, and simplicity...take everything in your stride and all that!
:o)
lol
Excellent! Wish I had thought of it myself!!
Glad i am done with that
Sounds Good to me! Give them HELL!!
love it and saved to my Yahoo--i'm done with them but I have two daughters and a step-daughter and boy does it fit.
Very good thanks for sharing.
ha ha ha good read,,,,
My thoughts exactly. :-)
Oh. My. God........wow.............................
What a hell of a fuss over a few days of miss-comfort, JeeeZ woman, don't you lot appreciate us men shave Every day of the YEAR! Hey-ho, Hey-ho, it,s off to work we go,>>>>>>>
Dear Wendi (is it ok to call you dear?, cos ladies like you don't come cheap!) I RED your letter with a sympathic ear towards what you're going through during this busy period, (pardon the pun) and it occurRED to me that you are right! Furthermore, I'm a firm believer in writing down my thoughts to release any pent up anger I may be experiencing, it's good for the soul. After reading your delightful diatribe it seems you let it all out. Unfortunately for you Wendi, and many other women there is never the right time to discuss this so called 'curse' as you so dilligently put it, because we men however hard we try, can never say the right thing at the right time. One last question for you. Why has'nt a woman invented a more comfortable solution to the so called 'curse'?
lol!
hahahaha!!!
excellent lol
thanks for the laugh.
Now that made me smile,star for you
Well said!!!
Ha....that was very funny.....fair play to her!
Funny! Funny but true! lol! 100!
a man wrote this but it's still funny
lol… it's great.!
.star 4 U...!!
☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆
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