Who wants ten pts the most?!


Question: tell me something that will make me burst out laughing in library


Answers: tell me something that will make me burst out laughing in library

See that hot librarian?? She's really a man...

keep looking at the library lady?

I WANT TEN POINTS REALLY REALLY BAD!!!!!! (but sadly I never go to the library....dangit....)

my teacher told us today that when she went home she was going to screrw her 90 year old husband hard, shove her strap on up her sog's a** go to walmart to but so penis lubercant, and shove her tounge down her pet frogs mouth...... i'm totaly kidding but i need 10 pts PLZ!!!!!

New email virus?
New Email Virus Has Been Discovered

If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes", delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty.

It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.

It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access codes, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU'RE IN THE SHOWER.

It will drink ALL your beer.

It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you're expecting company.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine.

If the "Bedtimes" message opens in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags form your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skimmed milk with whole milk.

WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN.

And if you don't tell 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.

Tell this warning to everyone!!!

THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD!

Right now, as you read this 17 million people are having SEX!!!

And look at you - you're reading "JUST READ IT" !!!!!

how about a joke what is the last thing to go through a flies mind as it hits you car ...................its ar~se

well i really need the points and so i just would start thinking of something that was super funy that happened to me or somebody else like i fell down the staires at my school i think of that and i stat to crack up

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are in a breast stroke race. The starter's gun goes off and the three girls dive into the pool. The brunette and the redhead shoot across the pool and get out; 20 minutes later the blonde reaches the end and gets out. The judge says, "The gold medal goes to the brunette, the silver medal goes to the redhead, and the bronze goes to the blonde". The blonde says, "I don't want to be a sore loser, but I think the other girls were using their arms."
*************************************

A teacher asks her class, ?If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left??
She calls on little Johnny. He replies, ?None, they all fly away with the first gun shot?

The teacher replies ?The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.?

Then Little Johnny says ?I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married??

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ?Well I suppose the one that?s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone?

To which Little Johnny replied, ?The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.?
**************************************

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "what is 1 and 1?"
"Eleven," she replied.

The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but she's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"

"Today and tomorrow."

He was again surprised that the blonde supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.

"Now, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

The blonde looked a little surprised herself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."

"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"

So, the blonde wandered over to the beauty parlor, where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. The blonde was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
*************************************
Little Johnny and his father came across his puppy, dead in the back yard. Daddy explained that Buddy had gone to heaven.

"So why are his legs sticking up in the air like that, Daddy?" asked Little Johnny, as he fought back tears.

At a loss for something to say the father replied, "Buddy's legs are pointing straight up in the air so that it will be easier for Jesus to take him by the leg and lift him up to heaven."

Little Johnny seemed to take Buddy's death quite well. However, two days later when his father came home from work, Little Johnny had tears in his eyes as he said, "Mommy almost died this morning."

Fearing something terrible had happened, his father questioned, "What do you mean Johnny? Tell Daddy!"

"Well", mumbled Little Johnny, "Soon after you left for work this morning I saw Mommy lying on the floor with her legs in the air and she was shouting, 'Oh Jesus! I'm coming, I'm coming!' And, if it hadn't been for the neighbor who was holding her down, she would have gone to Heaven just like Buddy did."



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