I need some new jokes about blondes?!
Question: ??????i need blond jokes??????
Answers: ??????i need blond jokes??????
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. "While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The blond replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?" Finally, a smart blonde joke!
Girl:wt do u boys do,and talk about ? when got alond
Boy:nothing new,just like u girls do n talk.
Girl:oh my God..how shameless and hom*gen u boy r.
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Policeman:y did u fu*k him
Criminil:bcz he was use 2 n professional
Policeman:ok i wil let u go but tell me first either he is ok or not,and wt is he doing right now ?
Crimonil:he is quite ok n happy enough,and reading this joke.
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Daughter:Mom army troops entered inour village.
Mom:oh my God,immediately come inside home,bcz the always rape the girls of captured places.
Daughter:oh no mom ! that is our country`s army.
Mom:then bring your dog & cat too.
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A woman was bathing,her 7 years old kid came in bath room ,when he saw a new thing first time in his life,he asked her,
Kid:wts this Mom ?
Mom:A Garage !
Kid:may I park my bicycle inside ?
Mom:No my son,if so then where would your father park his Boeing Aeroplane?
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r these jokes new n interesting respond plz
She was tired of everyone thinking that blondes were stupid, and she didn't like all these jokes. To end the injustice, she decided to prove to the world that she was smart.
In order to prove herself, she chose to memorize the capital of every American state. It wasn't an easy task, but she was determined and eventually managed to do it.
A few days later she was in a bar, and heard a couple of men laughing at a blonde joke. This was the perfect opportunity to start righting all the wrongs that had been done to blondes in the past - she would set these men straight!
Marching over at a rapid pace she announced,
"It isn't true that all blondes are stupid, and I will prove it. Just ask me the capital of any American state, and I will tell you what it is."
Although a little surprised, the men did challenge her and asked,
"Ok, how about Arizona?"
The Blonde, after pausing for a moments thought, proudly gave the answer,
"A"!
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Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.
The first blonde said, "Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey."
"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in."
The second blonde said, "Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus' being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other."
"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in, either."
The third blonde said, "Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it."
"Very good!" said St. Peter.
The blonde continued. "Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball."
St. Peter fainted!
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On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"
"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."
After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"
Blonde's Year End Review
January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March
Got really excited ..... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months ..... box said "2-4 years!"
April
Trapped on escalator for hours ... power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid ..... wrong instructions .... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water skiing....... couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition ..... learned later the other swimmers cheated and they used their arms!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm ..... car swamped because soft-top was open.
September
The capital of California is "C"..... isn't it???
October
Hate M & M's ..... they are so hard to peel .
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ..... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December
Couldn't call 911 . "duh"..... there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!
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Heads or Tails
The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet Yes for Heads and No for Tails.
Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, uttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour. But I'm rechecking my answers."
a girl was jumping on the railroad tracks when a blonde comes and does the same thing the girl gets off the tracks and leaves the blonde and the blonde gets run over by the train
why are the blonds **** square??
because she forgot to take the tissues out of the box
haha i crack myeself up