Best joke will get 10 points.....?!
Question: i need a good laugh
Answers: i need a good laugh
1----On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"
"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."
After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"
2---A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
3---Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, "I think we're in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?" This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, "I've got an idea. We'll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours."
The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose... they've pulled the ribbons off while they were playing."
"OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.
Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose... they've pulled their collars off while they were playing."
"There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!"
4----Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
5---How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
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Girl:wt do u boys do,and talk about ? when got alond
Boy:nothing new,just like u girls do n talk.
Girl:oh my God..how shameless and hom*gen u boy r.
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Policeman:y did u fu*k him
Criminil:bcz he was use 2 n professional
Policeman:ok i wil let u go but tell me first either he is ok or not,and wt is he doing right now ?
Crimonil:he is quite ok n happy enough,and reading this joke.
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Daughter:Mom army troops entered inour village.
Mom:oh my God,immediately come inside home,bcz the always rape the girls of captured places.
Daughter:oh no mom ! that is our country`s army.
Mom:then bring your dog & cat too.
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A woman was bathing,her 7 years old kid came in bath room ,when he saw a new thing first time in his life,he asked her,
Kid:wts this Mom ?
Mom:A Garage !
Kid:may I park my bicycle inside ?
Mom:No my son,if so then where would your father park his Boeing Aeroplane?
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A bus stops and 2 Irish men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation that seems to be English.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first. Den Oi come. Den two asses come together. Oi come once a more! Two asses, they come together again. Oi come again and pee twice. Then Oi come one lasta time."
The lady can't take this any more, "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig," she retorted indignantly. "In this country. We don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives.
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin'abouta sex? Oi 'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell Mississippi."
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r these jokes new n interesting respond plz by awarding me the Best Answer.Thanks
Why is the blondes coffin shaped like a "Y"
Because every time she hits her back her legs spread.
Oh dear!
Two people were fighting each other.
One : " I am a Don & you are only a key "
Other : " No, I am a Don & you are a Key"
the matter was got very serious. They both were became very irrited 7 finaly they went to a judge
Judge : "Stop fighting, you both are Donkey"