Funny dirty jokes!?!


Question: I love the funny dirty jokes! I fall over laughing!


So post yours the one that I find the funniest wins! Which will be hard!


Answers: I love the funny dirty jokes! I fall over laughing!


So post yours the one that I find the funniest wins! Which will be hard!

Did you hear about the jelly baby with aids??
Apparently he'd been sleeping with allsorts.

mr and mrs blobby are in bed. mrs blobby says ' blib blob bobble blub bibbly bob blubbly blib!'
mr blobby says 'just f***ing swallow it!

A man buys a packet of mixed flavoured condoms. Raspberry, Banana, and Strawberry. He says to his wife 'Lets play a game, I'll put one on & you guess what flavour it is'. His wife agrees. She slips under the duvet and says 'Cheese and Onion?' He says 'For chuffs sake, Give me a chance to put one on!!'

A department store


A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"

The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.

The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?" Again, the clerk doesn`t answer him.

The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"

And the clerk just seems to ignore him. Finally, the guy is angry and storms off.

The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, "why wouldn`t you answer that guy's question?"

The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!"

A man once went to a restaurant where slippers or shoes weren't allowed. He feared that someone might steal his shoes so he left a notice: 'DO NOT TRY TO STEAL MY SHOES-----BOXING CHAMPION.' When he came back he found his shoes missing .Instead, there was another note: 'DO NOT TRY TO CATCH ME------OLYMPIC CHAMPION IN RUNNING

wut did the elephant say to the nakd man?
how do u breathe through tht thing???

OK, I always thought this one was funny.

One day this girl runs into a leprecaun and he tells her that if she gives him a kiss he will give her a magic dildo that will pleasure her beyond all of her dreams. She just has to say the words "magic dildo" and them name the place she wants it to work. So she agrees and gives him a kiss and he gives her the magic dildo. So she goes back home, goes to her bedroom, gets on her bed and says "magic dildo-my pu55y". The magic dildo then begins to drill her harder than a jack hammer and makes all kind of noise. Her dad, wondering what all the noise is comes to her room and says do you have a boy in here. The girl says no dad it was my magic dildo. Then her dad says "magic dildo-my @55". - so then it begins to drill you know where. -haha

Two women walked into a department store, stopped at the perfume counter and picked up a sample bottle. One sprayed the perfume on her wrist and smelled it. "That's nice, isn't it?" Sharon said waving her arm under her friend's nose. "Yeah. What's it called?" "Viens a moi." "Viens a moi? What's that mean?" A clerk offered some help. "Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'come to me.'" Sharon took another sniff. "That doesn't smell like come to me," she said, offering her arm to her friend again. "Does that smell like come to you?"



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