Are any of these your medical records ha ha ha ?!
Question: The following quotes were taken from actual medical records as dictated by
physicians:
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely
disappeared.
She has had no shaking chills recently, but her husband states she was very
hot in bed last night.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission
The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to
dispose of him.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
only a
40 pound weight gain in the past three years.
She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions
in early December.
The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a
picture of acute
pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the
emergency room.
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to
work her up.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the
pediatrician,
who breathed and cried immediately.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out
of gas and crashed.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is
presently enrolled
in day care three times a week.
Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no
distress.
Answers: The following quotes were taken from actual medical records as dictated by
physicians:
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely
disappeared.
She has had no shaking chills recently, but her husband states she was very
hot in bed last night.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission
The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to
dispose of him.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
only a
40 pound weight gain in the past three years.
She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions
in early December.
The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a
picture of acute
pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the
emergency room.
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to
work her up.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the
pediatrician,
who breathed and cried immediately.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out
of gas and crashed.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is
presently enrolled
in day care three times a week.
Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no
distress.
LOL! I can totally relate to those, since I work in the medical field. Those were great! *star*
Funny. Sounds more like lawyers.
Brill, good to laugh this time of night!!
lol
I like:
The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
only a
40 pound weight gain in the past three years.
and these three:
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to
work her up.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
thats cute!!!
hahahahhahaha nice 1
v-gdgd
lol that was very funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Funny! 100!
ha ha lmao
lol
OMG I hope none are write ups on any of my medical records and if they are I hope they are well hidden.
Good collection. A star 4 u.
Those are brilliant. Thanks for sharing.
so even doctors don't always have a way with words