What are some good military jokes?!
Question: This guy is getting ready to enlist into the Marines so the recruiter asks the recruit to open his hands,he places a marble in one hand and asks the recruit to close them and asks "which hand is the marble in?" the recruit says "the left" the recruiter says" your overqualified ,go see the air force".
Answers: This guy is getting ready to enlist into the Marines so the recruiter asks the recruit to open his hands,he places a marble in one hand and asks the recruit to close them and asks "which hand is the marble in?" the recruit says "the left" the recruiter says" your overqualified ,go see the air force".
Why does the Coast Guard have a height requirement?
because if their boat sinks they can walk back to shore
The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me."
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."
Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?"
"Yes, sir," answered the Sarge.
A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful."
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"
this guy is in the military and he is shooting at a target and misses every one. so he says to the trainer "i'm gonna go shoot myself now." then the trainer says "well, bring some extra ammo."
2 guys wanted to join the military because they wanted to commit suicide. the first guy says to the trainer. "when do we get to deal with heavy weapons?" then the trainer says "never, ill make sure youre dead by then."
What does Navy stand for?
Never Again Volunteer Yourself
What sound does Crap make when it hits the fan?
Mar-ine
There's an army general and a navy admiral talking to each other about which branch has the bravest members. The General takes off his watch throws it in a shark infested pool and yells "Soldier! Go get my watch!" The soldier jumps in without hesitation and divews to the bottom and retrieves the watch.
The Admiral watches this and scoffs. He takes off his watch throws it in the same pool and yells,"Sailor, Go get my watch." The sailor runs up, looks in the pool and says "Screw you, sir!" Thus proving that sailors are braver than soldiers