Kids jokes, do you have any?!
Question: I need very clean jokes like:
what do you call Batman and Robin after they get ran over by a steam roller?
Flatman and Ribbon!
thanks everyone!!
Answers: I need very clean jokes like:
what do you call Batman and Robin after they get ran over by a steam roller?
Flatman and Ribbon!
thanks everyone!!
A first grade teacher shared a number of well known proverbs with her pupils, asking them to complete the sentence. Their answers were surprisingly insightful:
As you shall make your bed so shall you... mess it up.
Better to be safe than... punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the... bug is close.
It's always darkest before... daylight savings time.
Never underestimate the power of... termites.
Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.
A miss is as good as a... Mister.
You can't teach an old dog new... math.
An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke, there's... pollution.
Happy the bride who... gets all the presents!
A penny saved is... not much.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.
If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.
You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.
When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way."
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A. He wanted cold hard cash!
Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Is that you mommy?"
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
Q. How do crazy people go through the forest?
A. They take the psycho path.
Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?
A. Cell phones.
Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk.
Q. Where do polar bears vote?
A. The North Poll
Q. What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane?
A. ME!!!
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In snow banks.
Q. What's brown and sticky?
A. A stick.
Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch dog.
Q. Why did the tomato turn red?
A. It saw the salad dressing!
Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A. It let out a little wine!
Q. How do you make a tissue dance?
A. Put a little boogey in it!
Q. Where do bees go to the bathroom?
A. At the BP station!
Q. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
A. Odor in the court.
Q. What did the water say to the boat?
A. Nothing, it just waved.
Q. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
A. Dam!
Q. Why don't skeletons fight each other?
A. They don't have the guts.
Q). Whats brown and sticky?
A). A stick.
Where did the snowman put his manoey?
in the snowbank!
go to yahoo kids to find more.
Jacksw you bastard you stole that from me!
Sorry I don't
Here are some:-
Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.
Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death, we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
Why One Should Never Visit a Five Star Hotel...
Question: What would you like to have... Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?
Answer: Tea please.
Question: Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea?
Answer: Ceylon tea.
Question: How would you like it? Black or white?
Answer: White
Question: Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk?
Answer: With milk.
Question: Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk
Answer: With cow milk please.
Question: Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?
Answer: Um, I'll take it black.
Question: Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?
Answer: With sugar.
Question: Beet sugar or cane sugar?
Answer: Cane sugar.
Question: White, brown or yellow sugar?
Answer: Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead.
Question: Mineral water or still water?
Answer: Mineral water.
Question: Flavored or non-flavored?
Answer: I'll rather die of thirst.
I dont understand why kids jokes are so lame and stupid but kids are actually funny.