What is the stupidest, funniest or dirtiest joke you have ever heard?!
Question: I dont care how dumb or dirty it is.
Im in the mood for a giggle.
Answers: I dont care how dumb or dirty it is.
Im in the mood for a giggle.
I got this one sent to me and i thought it was so funny,
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of t hem was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'
You should get your hands on a DVD called The Aristocrats. Dirtiest thing you will hear. You'll never look at Bob Saget the same way...
Stupidest joke every invented was any knock-knock joke.
The one about Raggedy Anne being forever banned from the toy box. ShE sat on Pinocchio's face and screamed....LIE TO ME!!...LIE TO ME!!!
A trooper pulls over this older guy, and asks him, "Sir, is there a problem with your car?" The man replies, "Well, no sir, it is working order, there is no problem." The officer asks the gentlman to step out of the car and step to the back of the vehicle. The officer asks the man if he can explain the back of his car, where there are two men standing with black trenchcoats on, the man replies,"Oh, that's my emergency flashers!"
where did sadam hussan keep his CDs?
in-a-rack!
what did the ear-wig say when it fell off the wall?
here wig-go!
here wig-go!
here wig-gooooooooooo!
how do you make an applepuff?
chase it around the room!
Guy goes to the bar, has a few drinks, blows Chunks, gets a taxi home, blows Chunks in the cab. Gets home, blows Chunks on the side walk, gets in the house, blows Chunks again. Drinking wasn't making him sick..... Chunks is his dog!!! SICK, sorry. Here's another... A blonde was cooking one morning, and set her kitchen curtains on fire. She called the fire dept. for help, and when they asked, "Lady, how do we get there?" , her reply was,"Big red truck!"
Blond was pulled over for speeding. The officer asks "Mam, do you know the speed limit on this road"? The blond says "sorry, I don't live around here. But I'm sure if you stopped some of these other drivers, they could tell you".
thats funny
Something I have learned from experience in my years on this planet:
When I was much younger I once decided to do a swan dive off of an outdoor 50-meter high dive.
I climbed all the way to the top.
Got to the top looked around. ... There is great view of the area from up there ...
Walked out to the edge of the platform looked down at the pool ...
and ...
Did you know it is a LOT more difficult to climb down a ladder than up?
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Being raped.