Don't say this to a cop!!?!
Question: I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Bad cop. No donut.
Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
I pay your salary
Looking into their eyes
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?"
The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Answers: I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Bad cop. No donut.
Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
I pay your salary
Looking into their eyes
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?"
The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
hahaha. thats hilarious. I like that last one the best.
LMFAO!!!
hahaha
Hi-larious
Those are good. Here's another.
Cop asks, "Didn't you see that stop light back there and you respond with, 'yeah, I saw it. What I didn't see was you!'"
Or, "I couldn't have been going 90 miles per hour, I haven't driven 90 miles yet!"
that last one is hysterical
A woman gets pulled over for speeding...
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license.
He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
hahahaha
thatz so funny keep it up & you will me on tv