Best answer for funniest joke or story! Make me laugh?!
Question: Please no racism or crap.
Thanks.
Answers: Please no racism or crap.
Thanks.
isnt exactly a joke or story but has funny results, ny sentence is: I ran over a llama because I'm sexy and I do what I want. LOL!
Pick the month you were born:
January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March--------I kissed
April----------I licked
May----------I jumped on
June----------I smelled
July-----------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over
Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbour
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19------ - a smurf
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an ipod
29-------a surfer
30-------a llama
31-------A homeless guy
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White---------because I'm cool like that
Black---------because that's how I roll.
Pink-----------because I'm crazy.
Red----------- because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green---------because I think I need some serious help.
Purple---------because I'm AWESOME!
Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown---------because I can..
Other----------because I'm a Ninja!
None----------because I can't control myself!
I can't wait to see what you get stuck with.................
Into the family drinking well,
Willie pushed his sister Nell.
She's there yet, because it kilt her.
Now we have to buy a filter.
(an old Little Willie joke)
yo mamma so ugly that when someone took her picture the camera had to go to therapy
whatever got two more points
A chinese guy, a Japanese guy, and an American were told that they had to drop something over there country.
The chinese guy went first. he flew up into the sky in an airplane and dropped a dime.
When he landed he saw a little boy crying. he said little boy why are you crying. The boy said a dime fell from thesky and killed my father.
The japanese guy went next. He flew up and dropped a nickle onto his country.
When he landed he saw a little boy crying. He said little boy why are you crying. The little boy said a nickle fell from the sky and killed my father.
Finally the American flew up. He dropped a bomb on his country.
When he landed he saw a little boy laughing. He said little boy why are you laughing. The little boy said I farted and my house blew up!
How To Clean Your Toilet..?
Instructions on how to clean your toilet.
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids.
4. The cat will self agitate. You may need to stand on the lid and give the cat time to make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times.This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.