Do you have really funny jokes for me?!
Question: few kids joke for u.
more jokes availabale at tzt222@yahoo.co.in
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
******
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
******
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or loo king up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
******
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead."
******
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.. " "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
******
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chipcookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
Answers: few kids joke for u.
more jokes availabale at tzt222@yahoo.co.in
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
******
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
******
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or loo king up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
******
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead."
******
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.. " "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
******
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chipcookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
yes but all mine are dirty yahoo would ban me so email me ill give you a real good one
how is MJ and a xbox the same?
their both plastic and little kids turn them on.
What's brown,long and found in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's finger.
what did the woman on the beach say to michael jackson?
-could you please get out of my son?
Michael Jackson was see at Wal-Mart last weekend... He heard little boys' pants were half-off
This Chinese Jew goes into a Chinese restaurant and he says to the waiter "Do you serve Chinese Jews?"
And the waiter says "We ser' appr Jew, gra'efru' Jew, no Chinee Jew."
Well, it sounds funnier than that when you say it.
I once bread dog's (doggie style) I bread a bull dog & a sitsue and had a buch of bullshits!!!
sorry not at this time
whats the difference between a bigmac and a B.J.???
if you don't know let me buy you lunch
Job Application
This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries
Well, this man called his wife at her office and said," Honey, I am going on a fishing trip with some of my buddies and I want you to pack my new pj's for me." When we man came home two days later, he said to his wife," You didn't pack my new pj's!" She said," Yes I did, I put them in your tackel box."
Actual writings on Hospital Charts
1.she has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. on the 2nd day her knee was better, and on the 3rd day it disappeared.
4.the patient is tearful and crying constantly. she also appears to be depressed.
5. the patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6.discharge status: alive but without my permission.
7.healthy -appearing 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8.the patient refused autopsy.
9. the patient has no previous history of suicides.
10.patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11.patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past 3 days.
12.patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13.she is numb from her toes down
14.while in ER she was examined x-rated and sent home
15. the skin was moist and dry
16.occasional constant infrequent headaches
17.patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. rectal examinations revealed a normal sized thyroid.
19. she stated she had been constipated for most of her life , until she got a divorce
20. i saw your patient today who is still under our car for physical therapy.
21.both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accomodation.
22. examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized
23. the lab test indicated abnormal lover function
24.the patient was to have a bowel resection. however, he took a job as a stock broker instead,
25. skin :somewhat pale but present
26. the pelvic exam will be done later on the floor
27. patient was seen in consultation by doctor BLANK, who felt we should sit on the abdomen,and i agree
28. large brown stool ambulating in the hall
29. patient has 2 teenage children but no other abnormalities.
You know why everybody wants to go to Rome?
(answer next time).
what happened when i answered your question?