Make me laugh, what is your favourite joke?!
Question: 10 points to the joke that makes me laugh the most.
Answers: 10 points to the joke that makes me laugh the most.
God wanted a holiday, an angel suggested he visit Mercury, no, he said, its too hot there, then why dont you try Mars said the angel, no, said God, its too dusty, then try Earth suggested the angel, nah, I visited there 2000 years ago, knocked a bird up, and they are still going on about it!
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Two snowmen in a field..
One turns to the other and says,
"Can you smell carrots?"
What did the Snail say as he rode on the Turtle's back??????
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
knock knock..
Whos there?
Horsp!
Horsp who?
AHAHHAHAHAHAHA... GET IT?! say it out loud to your self lol its cute.
ANDD !!
there were two muffins in the oven.. the frist muffin says.. boy its hot in here...thats the other muffin turns around a saya 'HOLY S H I T A TALKING MUFFIN"
This is the stupidest, corniest joke in the world but I laugh every time.
How do you get Pikachu onto a bus?
You poke-him-on!
(pokemon for those who didn't get it)
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A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi."
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Did you hear about the 21 year old Italian girl who knelt in front of the statue of Madonna?
She said: "You who conceived without sin, let me sin without conceiving!"
These are from the same radio dj's but the jokes have stayed in my head for like 10 yrs.
Where can you find a turtle w/ no legs?
Same place you left it.
What is a girl called w/ no arms or legs?
Carry
What do you get when you cross an egg with sperm?
An omelette you probably shouldn't eat.
Not my favorite. My favorite joke is too long.
*Teacher*
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand
up?" said the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet."Now then
mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the
teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you
standing up there all by yourself."
A Saidi (person from Upper Egypt) was interviewed at the US
Embassy for a U.S.A Visa
Consul : What is your name ?
Arab : ydirah
Consul : Sex ?
Arab : Six to ten times a week
Consul: I mean , male or female ?
Arab : Both male and female and sometimes
even camel
Consul : Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too !!!!
Consul : Man !........isn't it hostile ?
Arab : Horse style , dog style , any style
Consul : Oh..........dear !
Arab : Deer ? No deer, they run too fast !
what happends when you punch a turtle
He gets shell shock
What's the quickest way to learn a Bushman's language?
Eat some pop rocks!
There was this scientist and he went to a school the kids there were all age 5. He wanted to see if they new what colour the polo mint were if they tasted them with there eyes shut as they were different colours.
Strawberry...red
Pineapple...yellow
Blackcurrant...Purple and so on.
He had a new flavored which was honey, when he asked the kids if they new what color it was they all said no. The scientist said I'll give you a clue, it's what your mommy might sometimes call your dad. Suddenly a little boy spat he's out and said. "OW my god were eating **** holes.
one person was travelling with his wife in an auto,
the auto driver was staring at his wife from the rear mirror.
he got annoyed and furious, he told the auto driver to behave himself and asked him to come and sit at the back and he wanted to drive the vehicle.
Santa and peter were sitting on a tree and Santa
was singing a song. After 4 songs Santa hung himself upside
down and started singing again.
peter : Santa , what is the matter with you? Why are you
hanging upside down?
Santa : I am singing the B side
From
There were 3 construction workers sitting on the edge of the building getting ready to have lunch. One was a spanish guy, one a black guy and the other a white guy.
The spanish guy opened up his lunch box and says "Damn It"
if my wife makes me another peanut butter and jelly sandwich
I'm gonna jump off this roof!
The black opened his luch box and say " Damn it" if my wife makes me another tuna fish sandwich i'm gonna jump off this roof.
The white guy opened up his lunch box and say" Damn It"
if my wife makes me another bologna and cheese sandwich I'm gonna jump off this roof.
It's th next day and their sitting on the edge of the building getting ready to have their lunch.
The spanish guy opens his lunchbox and says "All right my wife made a turkey sandwich"
T he black guy opens his lunch box and say " All right my wife made me a ham and cheese sandwich"
The white guy opens his lunch box and he jumped off ther roof
The Spanish guy says "That poor guy"
The Black man said" What a Damn Fool" He doesn't even have a wife."
*He packs his own lunch*
I'll ****** you with a rake.
Whats got for legs and a c0ck on its back?....A police horse...