Who wants 10 points!?!


Question: i want to hear either a really good joke, nothing stupid, or a really good riddle!
preferably a riddle.


Answers: i want to hear either a really good joke, nothing stupid, or a really good riddle!
preferably a riddle.

A husband and wife from New York were traveling to Florida for vacation. They were taking a second honeymoon to the same hotel they stayed at when they first married 30 years ago. Due to their different schedules the husband left a day before his wife. When he arrived he e-mailed to his wife, but accidentally sent it to the wrong address.
Mean while in Texas an elderly woman was morning the death of her husband. He had enjoyed a successful career as a preacher. When she came home from the funeral she checked her e-mail. She screamed and passed out. The e-mail read:
Subject: I’ve arrived
To my loving wife,
They have e-mail here now and allow you to e-mail your loved ones. Just wanted to let you know I arrived safely. The trip was much shorter than I expected. Everything is ready for your arrival tomorrow. See you soon!
P.S. It’s really hot down here

Why did Helen Kellers Belly Button hurt?


-Her boyfriend was blind too.

oh chose me!
A forgein lady enters the United States. At Customs they say she has to use 3 colors in a phone conversation.
She says...
I PINK up the phone, GREEN and say YELLOW! '
***I know its stupid but it was the 1st joke I thought of lol :P

yo mamma was so greasy that when she went outside she was sizzlin'!!! lol

really good joke

What has lots of eyes but no mouth?


A potaeto.


What do you call a witch eating in a desert?
A sandwich!

1. Who has 4 I`s (eyes) and cant see?

Mississippi

2. While on my way to St. Ives, I saw a man with 7 wives. Each wife had 7 sacks. Each sack had 7 cats. Each cat had 7 kittens. Kitten, cats, sacks, wives, How many were going to St. Ives?


One, just me.

A boy was at a carnival and went to a booth where a man said to the boy, "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me $50, but if I cannot, I will pay you $50."

The boy looked around and saw no scale so he agrees, thinking no matter what the carny writes he'll just say he weighs more or less.

In the end the boy ended up paying the man $50. How did the man win the bet?












The man did exactly as he said he would and wrote "your exact weight" on the paper.

ok well u have a dog cat and fish u have to get them all to the other side the cat will eat the fish dog eats cat fish eats no one. u cant leave the 2 animals that will eat one alone. u have a boat with one person at once. how will u get them over. u cant have someone in the boat but the 2 animals that will kill one cant be together anyway no how only for the begginning u may switch two animals out from the boat like the fish on the other side and the cat in the boat u may go to the other side and switch the cat and fish with no murder. U GOT TILL 9:00 well 9:00 here but other wise u got 22 ,mim

yeah i like 1<3mcfly's joke

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."

The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first."

The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender.

"I'm a professional gambler," replied the man.

The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?"

"Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy.

"Like what?" asked the bartender.

"Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said.

The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said.

So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed me," said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.

"I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye," said the stranger.

The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet." So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.

"Aw, you screwed me again!" protested the bartender.

"That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man.

With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop."

The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you're on," he said.

The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.

The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!"

The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!"

ok LMAO 1 of my favorites... kinda racial but EVERY1 laughts



2 gay guys are walking down the beach... one of them trips and falls. He gets up and looks down and sais "oh ****! its a Geine Lamp!!!"... hes boyfriend looks at it and sais "ey if you rub it... we get to make 3 wishes!" hes like ok. so he rubs the lamp and a geine comes out. The geine sais "After 10,000 years you finally found me, i grant you 3 wishes!"... the gay guy sais to the other guy "roger this is the best day of our lives, i love you" .... The genie goes "come again? what? you 2 are gay?" .... the guys say "yeh"... the genie goes "ah **** that ****, i grant you fag's only 1 dam wish!" ... the gay guys stand and think for a second then ask the genie if they could have 1 day to think about it. The genie sais "ok you can have 1 day."

So the two gay guys go home, take a shower, and at midnight lye in bed sleeping. Then all the sudden there is a huge noise at the door like some1 is banging on it as hard as they can. Then There is a sound of chainsaw...... all the sudden the door breaks down and 5 KKK members rush in wearing all white wiht all kinds of axes in their hands screaming "white power, white power!!!"

One gay guy looks at hes boyfriend and sais "Hey i think it is time to use a wish before we ******* die!!!!"... the other gay guy sais... ahha...hahaha... i kinda used it already... Hes boyfriend asks.... WHAT??? WHAT TA HELL DID YOU WISH FOR?

and hes boyfrind answers

I WISHED WE BE HUNG LIKE N i G G A S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Source(s) funnies joke alive!!!

if you utter my name, I do not exist anymore, what am I? silence

2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies



wen a guy tellz u that he luvz u from the bottom of his heart b careful 4 this may mean dat.......!!!!!!........ he has enuf space 4 another girl on the top...



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