Whats the funniest joke to you?!
Question: Little Johnny asks his dad, is god a man or a women and then he says both then he asks his dad is god black or white and he says both, then he asks his dad is god Michael Jackson?
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
She tended to fall asleep all the time
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" and she was sleeping and didn't hear her so little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her poked her with a pen and she woke up and yelled "GOD ALMIGHTY!" and the teacher said, "Very good" and and she fell back to sleep again.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is gods son," and again Johnny came to the rescue and poked her again. ’JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT ******* THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ***!"
The Teacher fainted
Answers: Little Johnny asks his dad, is god a man or a women and then he says both then he asks his dad is god black or white and he says both, then he asks his dad is god Michael Jackson?
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
She tended to fall asleep all the time
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" and she was sleeping and didn't hear her so little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her poked her with a pen and she woke up and yelled "GOD ALMIGHTY!" and the teacher said, "Very good" and and she fell back to sleep again.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is gods son," and again Johnny came to the rescue and poked her again. ’JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT ******* THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ***!"
The Teacher fainted
yo mamma!!
" BURNED "
would you like some ice for that burn :O:O :):)
Whats Brown and Sticky?
A Stick!
Simplicity rules the land, my friend...
Moose Jaw.....................?
This young guy was working in the produce section of the supermarket, and an older guy comes up: "Young man, I'd like to buy a half of a head of lettuce." "Gee, sir, we don't usually sell it that way. Let me ask my manager."
He goes into the back room and yells, "Hey, Mr. Benwa, there's some jerk out here who wants to buy a HALF A HEAD of lettuce." He turns around, and there's the customer right at his shoulder. "... and this fine gentleman would like to buy the other half."
After the satisfied customer leaves with his half a head of letuce, Mr. Benwa says, "That was some fast thinking, son. Where did you learn that? Where did you grow up?"
"Aw, 'tweren't nuttin. I grew up in Moose Jaw. It' s little town up in Canada. It's not famous for anything except that everybody there is either a prostitute or a hockey player."
Mr. Benwa glares at the kid: "I'll have you know that my WIFE comes from Moose Jaw."
"Gee, that's great! What team did she play on?"
There was a little girl who's dog died. He died peacefully with all four legs in the air. She asked her dad why dogs and people die with their legs in the air. He told her that Jesus can come and take them to heaven easier.
The next day the dad returns home from work and the little girl runs up to him and says, "Dad, mom almost died today!" Panicked, the dad asked what happened. She said, "Mom was in her room and I heard her screaming. She was in bed with her legs in the air screaming, "Dear Jesus, I'm comin', I'm comin." If it wasn't for the mailman holding her down, she would have been a goner!"
Peter: Nurse, I am very eager to know my blood group.
Nurse: B positive
Peter: please tell me soon ....
Nurse: B positive
Peter: Madam, I am positive, but eager to know my blood group.
knock knock
who is there
banana
banana who?
knock knock
whos there
banana
banan who
knock knock
whos there
orange
orange who
orange cha glad i didnt say banana
Why is an orange? Because a chair has 3 legs.
A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him, ''I screwed your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him.
Again, he hears, ''Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it.
The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says, ''Dad, go home, you're drunk!''
Once there was a liitle boy in church. He had to go to the bathroom so he told his mother, ''Mommy, I have to piss.''
The mother said, ''Son don't say piss in church. Next time you have to piss, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite.
The following Sunday, the litle boy was sitting by his father this time, and once again, he had to go to the bathroom.
He told his father, ''Daddy I have to whisper.''
The father said, ''OK. Here, whisper in my ear.''
there was a player of foot ball he take a bath why
to have nice and clean gaols
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. "Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!"
"I can't jump out the window ~ It's raining out there!" "If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied. He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!"
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out of the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could.
After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer. "Do you always run in the nude?" one asked. "Oh yes!" he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free!"
Another runner moved a long side. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you?" "Oh, yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!
A third runner looked down and asked "Do you always wear a condom when you run?" "Only when it rains." he replied.
ok so an elephant asks a camel hey why do you have boobs on your back? and the camel said back they that's kinda mean for someone to say with a penis attached you thier face
here are some good ones:
CREATION
A man said to his blond wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!" He never questioned her smarts again!
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he could remember easily and will use each time he has to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in...
P... E... N... I... S...
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied: PASSWORD REJECTED....... NOT LONG ENOUGH ...