Computer results - funny or not?!
Question: One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer at Asda. Just give it a urine sample
and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and only costs five pounds.....a lot quicker and
better than a doctor".
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Asda.
He deposits five pounds, and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks".
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurried back to Asda, eager to check what would happen.
He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the
results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
get better...........thank you for shopping at Asda
Answers: One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer at Asda. Just give it a urine sample
and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and only costs five pounds.....a lot quicker and
better than a doctor".
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Asda.
He deposits five pounds, and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks".
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurried back to Asda, eager to check what would happen.
He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the
results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
get better...........thank you for shopping at Asda
yep go to show never mess with computers very good joke
thats funny
hehehe that was awesome i loved it thakyou!!!!!!!
That is one heck of a computer, and one great joke.
hahaha.
that's funny!
cam i hAve 10 points?
funny.......what is asda?
PMSL!!!!!!!!!! that is excellent!
another cracker liz
star award
hehehe, oops, think i'll keep going to the doctor, lol
Nice one to start it.
Very funny
Brilliant joke. It always pays to shop at Asda. lol