Blonde Diary?!
Question: January
*Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
*Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Helllloooo!!!
Bottles won't fit in typewriter!
March
*Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said
"2-4 years!"
April
*Trapped on an escalator for hours.....power went out!
May
*Tried to make Kool-Aid....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't
fit into those little packets!
June
*Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
*Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other
swimmers cheated, they used their arms!
August
*Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top
was open.
September
*The capital of California is "C".....isn't it?
November
*Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and
I weigh 108 lbs!
December
*Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the
stupid phone!
What a year!!
Answers: January
*Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
*Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Helllloooo!!!
Bottles won't fit in typewriter!
March
*Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said
"2-4 years!"
April
*Trapped on an escalator for hours.....power went out!
May
*Tried to make Kool-Aid....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't
fit into those little packets!
June
*Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
*Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other
swimmers cheated, they used their arms!
August
*Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top
was open.
September
*The capital of California is "C".....isn't it?
November
*Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and
I weigh 108 lbs!
December
*Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the
stupid phone!
What a year!!
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"
"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."
After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"
:) Love The Diary, Im Naturally Blonde, But Even My Blonde Moments Arnt As Bad As That :)
x
This IS good!
Have a star!
Lmao
Nice one mrsc - have a star =]
funny lol here's some more
A Blonde's Diary
MONDAY: It's so much fun to cook for Ron. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. Fortunately, the neighbors were kind enough to loan me some extra bowls.
TUESDAY: Ron wanted fruit salad for dinner. The recipe said serve without dressing so, I didn't dress. What a surprise when Ron brought his boss home for dinner.
WEDNESDAY: A great day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed sort of silly, but I took a shower. I can't say it improved the rice any.
THURSDAY: Today, Ron asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Ron asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.
FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was exactly the same as when I left.
SATURDAY: Ron did the grocery shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (Oh boy). For some strange reason, Ron keeps counting to ten.
SUNDAY: Ron's parents came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast, but all I could find was hamburger. Suddenly, I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. Much to my disappointment, it still came out hamburger.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY: This has been such an exciting week. I can hardly wait for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Ron. If only we could get a larger oven, I would love to surprise him with Chocolate Moose.
that's hilarious
hahahaha stupid blonde! star coming your way***********
Ha ha ha.!!!
Excellent ones there so 10/10.!!!
Got me laughing.!!!
Cheers.!!
Haha! This rocks! I've heard the different blonde jokes with those kinds of stories but this one is the best!!
i got scalded feet i bought one of those steam puddings the instructions say before serving stand in boiling water for 20 mins
LMFAO
I think I dated this girl...
lol
i loved it
soooo funny, excellent
This is hella funny! Have a *star*
LMAO!!!! LUVED IT!! HAVE A STAR!
hahaha good one lol
brilliant. lol
ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh