For Women Only. Has this happened to you?!


Question: This is really true. I know because it happened to me!
>Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys
>were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney
>story was an urban legend, this one is not. It's happening every day.
>
>My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was
>just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone
>else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would
>have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose
>thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer
>looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to
>living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose. Then, just
>when my guard was down, the thieves struck again.
>
>My *** was next.
>
>I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains t o match my new
>rear end to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. I couldn't believe
>that my new *** was attached at least three inches lower than my
>original. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I
>prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.
>
>It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One
>morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as
>the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the
>hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced one
>section at a time. How clever and fiendish.
>
>Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up,
>unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly
>and without warning. In despair, I gave up my T-shirts.
>What could they do to me next?
>
>My poor neck suddenly disappeared faster than the Thanksgiv ing turkey
>it now resembled. That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on
>the medical profession by myself. Women of the world, wake up and smell
>the coffee. That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using.
>
>You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you? The
>next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted", look again. Was
>it lifted from you? I think I finally found my thighs - and I hope that
>Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!
>
>This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every
>night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
>
>P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my
>breasts.
>
>I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed, I was
>relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I
>slept.
>
>Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.


Answers: This is really true. I know because it happened to me!
>Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys
>were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney
>story was an urban legend, this one is not. It's happening every day.
>
>My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was
>just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone
>else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would
>have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose
>thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer
>looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to
>living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose. Then, just
>when my guard was down, the thieves struck again.
>
>My *** was next.
>
>I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains t o match my new
>rear end to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. I couldn't believe
>that my new *** was attached at least three inches lower than my
>original. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I
>prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.
>
>It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One
>morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as
>the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the
>hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced one
>section at a time. How clever and fiendish.
>
>Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up,
>unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly
>and without warning. In despair, I gave up my T-shirts.
>What could they do to me next?
>
>My poor neck suddenly disappeared faster than the Thanksgiv ing turkey
>it now resembled. That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on
>the medical profession by myself. Women of the world, wake up and smell
>the coffee. That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using.
>
>You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you? The
>next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted", look again. Was
>it lifted from you? I think I finally found my thighs - and I hope that
>Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!
>
>This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every
>night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
>
>P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my
>breasts.
>
>I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed, I was
>relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I
>slept.
>
>Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

this is the funniest thing i have ever heard and its soooooo true!!!! lol love it sooooo much!!! thanks yiou really made my day!!!

haha

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I
gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a
quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know,
but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and
went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so,
and he handed me back the quarter and said, "We're sorry but they
could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me
back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
-----
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the
DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being
hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to
be crossing anymore."
From Kingman, KS .
-----
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked
the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was
sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
From Kansas City
-----
I was at the airport checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
-----
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She
asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on
earth are blind people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS .
-----
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker leaving the
company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This
is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We
all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
-----
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and, for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system
would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no
less.
-----
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up
our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock
the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was
unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply,
"I know. I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in
Canton, Mississippi

STAY ALERT!
They walk among us...and the scary part is that they VOTE and
REPRODUCE and our enemies know it!My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I
gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a
quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know,
but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and
went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so,
and he handed me back the quarter and said, "We're sorry but they
could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me
back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
-----
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the
DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being
hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to
be crossing anymore."
From Kingman, KS .
-----
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked
the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was
sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
From Kansas City
-----
I was at the airport checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
-----
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She
asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on
earth are blind people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS .
-----
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker leaving the
company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This
is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We
all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
-----
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and, for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system
would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no
less.
-----
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up
our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock
the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was
unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply,
"I know. I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in
Canton, Mississippi

STAY ALERT!
They walk among us...and the scary part is that they VOTE and
REPRODUCE and our enemies know it!

Yeah actually that hapened to me just the other day. My toe nails were gone.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh My God! That is so scary but funny…sent a shiver down my spine which tickled my funny bone Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!!!

is this true plz tell me its a joke

rotfl your not on your own here hehe

haha, i hope that doesn't happen to me...=)

Funny! 100!



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