I'd love to hear some jokes!?!
Question: I'd love to hear some good jokes!
Anybody have any good ones?
Answers: I'd love to hear some good jokes!
Anybody have any good ones?
Joke1 :A man was sitting on his porch one afternoon when he noticed that his neighbor, a blonde, went out to her mailbox, opened it, and returned to her home empty handed.
About five minutes later, he saw the blonde again. She checked the mailbox and once again, returned to her house empty handed.
She did this two more times before the man decided to ask her about it. "Why do you keep coming out to your mailbox every five minutes?" the man asked.
"Because," replied the blonde, "my computer keeps telling me that I've got mail!"
Joke2: A blonde was happily married, but for one thing. Every morning she woke up early and passed gas, waking up her husband. After a few months of marriage, her husband finally said, "you have to stop this". "If you fart any more, you'll fart your guts out".
But when nothing changed, the husband decided to take action and that night he put some pig scraps in her pants.
The next morning, she woke up, farted and quickly went to the bathroom. Two long hours later, she came out and stated, "honey, you were right about me farting my guts out". "But don't worry, I managed to push it all back inside"
Joke3: why did the man freeze his money?
A: he wanted cold hard cash.
Joke4:If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder, it would be genocide!
What witch do you find near a beach?
A sandwich
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?...
It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins
I think Paul's lawyer should sue Heather Mills for throwing water all over her. With all those witnesses, Mills wouldn't have a leg to stand on :)
*Q* why does Elton John play the piano?
*A* because he sucks on an organ
he hehe hehehe ehehe
A burglar broke into a house one night. Thinking the coast was clear, he shined his flashlight around to look for valuables. He picked up a CD player to stuff into his sack. A very peculiar, falsetto voice from somewhere in the room said, "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin. He immediately switched off the flashlight, and remained motionless, straining to hear movement or voices. Nothing happened for a couple of minutes, so he chalked it up to his own imagination, and turned his light back on.
He picked up the VCR player, and again, clear as a bell, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." He quickly shined his light around the room, and discovered a parrot, perched near the picture window. "Hey! Did you say that?" he snarled at the bird.
"Yep. I'm trying to warn you," the parrot squawked.
"Warn me, huh?" The burglar relaxed, and said, "And who are you?"
"Moses", replied the parrot.
"Moses?!" the burglar laughed out loud. "What kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?!"
The parrot quipped, "The same people who named their Rottweiler, Jesus."